♥ Friday, April 23, 2010
PLEASE BE IN MY DREAMS
An old friend cum colleague has just lost his dad. Like mine, his dad passed on at the age of 63 - just like our prophet.
Reading his updated FB statuses every now and then, it's clear that my friend is missing his father already and it has been barely a week I think. I feel him! I really do!
Just last week, I cried myself to sleep because I was looking at Abah's picture. At this moment, I'm crying again! I am missing him very much - no words can explain. I can't even look at his picture or talk about him without tearing.
I want him in my dreams. I want to feel him in my dreams. I want to talk to him in my dreams.
It's the 12th year this year and I'm missing him more and more each day that it hurts!
The saying 'Time Will Heal The Pain' definitely does apply here as I'm still feeling the hurt till today. In fact, it gets worse each time..
Labels: Abah, family, MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 1:21 AM
♥ Saturday, April 3, 2010
MARCH HIGHLIGHTS
It was supposed to be an All-Girls trip but after a few 'unforeseen circumstances', it became a short getaway for 2 couples. Radia, Vijay, Izan and I went to Batam in mid March and all I can say is that Batam has changed a lot since the last time I went there - about a year and a half ago.
They sell much nicer clothes now. Izan and I will definitely go back there again. Soon I hope!
Anyway, it was a nice weekend. A weekend which Izan and I really bonded. So bonded that I could not resist him! LOL!
The following weekend, Izan and I had another double date session. This time, it was with Nikki and Alop. I finally managed to eat the most-talked about Buffalo wings. We went to the one in Seletar and chose Level 4 because one of us is not really into spicy food. You'll figure who I'm referring to in awhile.
To me, I think the food there are overly priced and nothing great about the taste.
Nevertheless, we all had a good time especially after this:
Just too bad that we could not have a proper double date. Damn those windows!
Another March highlight was when I made 3 of my rugrats modelled for my pre-loved clothes. It was yet another quality time with the 3 girls and despite the fact that they perspired like they had ran 10km, I know they had fun too!
Labels: getaway, MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 12:47 AM
♥ Saturday, March 6, 2010
OH LISTEN TO ME WHINE, DEAR BLOG!
I love having a blog because I feel at ease after blogging my thoughts. I can write everything and anything freely without any interruptions or rebutts.
Don't get me wrong, I do have a bunch of great listeners but sometimes I just prefer to blog. They'll find out what's bothering me from here anyways. That saves me from repeating my sentences again and again.
I hardly confide things to my siblings. I blame it on generation gap. We are more than 12 years apart at least!
My friends are busy with their own things of late. Again, don't get me wrong. I know for sure they are willing to listen to my rants anyday, anytime but I just don't want to invade their personal space.
I miss the good old days when all of us were seeing each other almost every other day and talked about everything. Now, we have to make do with once-in-a-month meeting and summarise monthly happenings to each other all at once!
Change! Something I'll never be able to agree with!
The boyfriend? Well, I've always preferred confiding in friends than the partner for I've concluded that the men just wont get it. Also, what if the complaint is about him? Furthermore, it's really different when you confide things to your friends and partner. The responses you get are different and sometimes with the latter, it can end up in arguments. Agree?
There are certain things which I'd like to be comforted by my partner, certain things I'd prefer my friends.
For instance, I blogged something about my dad last year in the hope that the then partner would give me a call of comfort because I knew he was reading my entries. Instead of calling, he went MIA and the excuse was because 'I was afraid of saying the wrong things which will make you even more upset'. I was dumbfounded upon hearing that! Seriously, just a bloody phone call would have made me felt so much better!
That just proved my point that men just don't get it, right? Or maybe his is a special case. I had comfort calls from my girlfriends instead. Oh! Why am I not surprise??!
Yesterday, I had a rough day at work. I told 3 of my GFs and the BF about it. 2/3 of the GFs know the full story of my complaint while the BF, till this day only know half of it. Simply because, he probably didn't think it was that serious.
I don't blame him. That's the nature of their species and please I'm not comparing. They are worlds apart! I'm talking in general here.
Today, there are so many thoughts running through my head and staying at home with a spoiled TV in the bedroom is not making it better.
So who do I go to on days like this? I don't want to bother the GFs and my other half is unwell and a little cold towards me over last night's petty argument.
Usually, I'll just coop myself up in the room. I've not showered the whole day and feel a little wrecked right now. Nothing serious really, it's just one of those days when I just don't feel right!
I thought I needed to let something out so I logged on to Blogger...
Thumbs up to the inventor of Blogs!
Labels: MY life, MY thoughts
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 11:59 PM
♥ Thursday, February 11, 2010
2010 HAS BEEN GOOD SO FAR
It's barely 2 months I know but it's been raining money. For me and some people around me at least. For the first time since I started taking orders for Honey/Chocolate Cornflakes, I had a total order of 2000pcs which I had to finish in less than 2 weeks! Surprisingly I managed to do it and I'm really proud of myself. It is a big deal hokay! Despite the little time I have after work, I still manage to do it. I also had some orders from colleagues. In total, I spent 3 weeks mixing the cornflakes with the chocolates and honey. I lost sleep and had no time for myself even. No complaints though since it's easy money!
Third week of January, the 3 Sagittarians did a flea market and the profits made were quite overwhelming. Those 3 days were also bonding periods between the 3 couples. It's really nice to see our men blending well right girls? :)
Work has been quite political of late but heck, it's my rice bowl and ALHAMDULILLAH, I hit target and I can't wait for my pay this month!
Mum is getting better and slowly getting her taste bud back. I can't wait to take her out for meals.
I'm loving 2010 and I hope nothing will change.
Now that I already have time, I hope to catch up with friends and more quality time with the boyfriend. He's been busy with his own stuffs too!
In the meantime, I'm trying to google for places to go to during our CNY break. Recommendations anyone? I don't mind being a tourist in my own country.
Labels: 2010, MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 4:42 PM
♥ Friday, January 8, 2010
FIRST WEEK OF 2010
A week has passed in the new year. I don't know if I should blog about my 2009 or how I would like my 2010 to be. I'm skipping the usual resolution entry because seriously, I really do not know what are my resolutions for this year.
Maybe I'll summarise my 2009 in another entry - if I have the time and mood for it that is.
At the moment, 2010 has been good so far (only 7 days, what do you expect??). I ended 2009 with my family, woke up with them next to me too and spent the entire of the first day of 2010 with my sweetheart.
Everything seems good. Good! Good! Good! Not only for me but the people around me as well!
Tata for now till my next entry...and oh, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
P.S Enjoy the precious moments people as 2012 is in 2 years time - we're dying apparently! *roll eyes*
Labels: MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 1:35 PM
♥ Sunday, December 20, 2009
GO AWAY MISS SIXTY!
I put on this particular pants to work the other day and it felt so tight that I was scared to even climb the stairs. I was afraid that if I was rushing, I might hear the tearing sound. I could not move freely.
I am beginning to feel heavy and having short hair now doesn't help. It only makes me look chubbier. No wonder someone doesn't get over it.
I refused to weigh myself on my birthday. I refused to do so again on December 1 because I know damn well that I had put on weight.
I was right. I am so damn right! I've put on 2kg in 2 months. I was only 56kg during Mak Nenek's wedding! Thanks to the non-stop laughing sessions and candies I guess.
I don't want to be Miss Sixty ever again! Not now at least till maybe I get pregnant.
I freeze my gym account for this month so I'm definitely will unfreeze it back next month and make it a point to go at least twice a week! I will and if I don't, someone will definitely bug me to go without fail!
I have to lose weight! I want to fit into those clothes again! I want to have flat stomach again! I want to have not-so-flabby arms again!
In the meantime, I shall start going out for lunch as staying in the office equals to sitting for 9 hours a day! I shall sue more members so that I will be going to and fro the Subordinate Court and that equals to lots of walking. Last but not least, I must start doing crunches every night. I will start tonight!
I want to look good for 2010! I have 10 days to the new year!
We shall seeeeeeeeeeeeee.....!
Labels: digits, MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 7:04 PM
♥ Friday, December 18, 2009
COUNTING DOWN TO 2010
13 days to a brand new year! I can't wait. I don't know why but I just can't wait for 2010 to come.
2009 had a beautiful beginning. It's also ending beautifully - only with a slight change. I just want to officially welcome the same old me in 2010.
But before that, I'd better finish the unfinished businesses and clear the unnecessary mess. I have 13 days left to do all that..Yikes!
P.S Stalker, time to change the skin bebeh
Labels: MY life, MY words
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 10:37 PM
♥ Saturday, December 12, 2009
A LITTLE CHANGE ON MY 28TH
The past years, I had been counting down my birthday with the girls. This year, I was quite sad when I realised Hari Raya Haji fell on the eve of my birthday. Obviously some of them couldn't make it so I requested them to have breakfast with me. Honestly, I wasn't expecting them to agree because most of them are not morning people.
Before I go on about the girls, I'd like to share about my so-called pre-celebrations.
I got my first cake a week before my birthday at coffee bean which I wasn't expecting at all though I was wishing for it silently.
Thanks for reading my mind. It was sweet. You guys were sweeter than the cake - literally! Hah!
2 days before the actual day, I got a present delivered to my office. It was something that I asked for from Mak Nenek. She had it delivered because she could not celebrate with me on the actual day (so she said!). I was happy I got my present but I'd rather have her on my birthday and forgo the present. Heh!
On the same day, my department gave me Isetan vouchers which I bought a perfume with. Then came the eve of my birthday when people were asking if I was going out or not. I didn't have any plans and just wanted to spend time at home. The new beau was out alone watching New Moon. 10 - 20 minutes before midnight when I was already asleep, he called me and told me to be down in 5!
I was actually irritated more than elated because I was already in dreamland. Of course I went down anyway and I'm glad that I did. 
He surprised me with the cake above in his own romantic way. I seriously wasn't expecting a cake from him. He had asked me weeks before my birthday if I had to choose, would I choose a heart shape or a round shape. A sucker in love that I am, obviously I chose the heart shape and tadah! I got a heart shaped cake and it tasted good too!
A few minutes after that, he gave me my present in a very irritating way! I was expecting a little gift from him but I wasn't expecting that from him! He put it on for me and it's just a perfect gift which I put on the very next day. 
Now let's go back to the the actual day - with 2 different clans.
The woman above appeared at my door step before 11am! At the lift lobby, I asked her, why was she carrying a shawl? I was wondering because she already had a little jacket on and weather that morning wasn't that cold. She mumbled something which I didn't bother to probe further.
The moment we got down, she wanted to blind fold me - with the scarf! I should have known!!!
Since they wanted me to be blind-folded so much, I decided to cover my whole face with the 'bandage' not because I was embarrassed but it was to embarrass them! Muahahahaha!
Just so you know, I was told not to wear a skirt or a dress but any kind of tops would be fine. Thank GOD I put on a bra that morning or it could be disastrous. You'll find out why.
They brought me to ice-skating! It is such a pity that we didn't get a single shot of us in there but I'm sure everyone of us will definitely remember that experience. The falling, the fear, the hogging of railings. It was fun and can you imagine if I hadn't put on the bra?!
They then brought me to Hyatt for high-tea. After which we did an impromptu shopping at Far East. By the time we finished, it was time for me to meet the next group.
Thanks girls for always making the time to be there for me.
Now, part 2 of the same day. The boyfriend fetched me at DFS at about 730pm and we headed to Sentosa. They got me a room at Siloso and again, it was such a pity that I didn't get to take pictures of the hotel's vicinity.
Went to the room, got a shock from Nikki and shortly after that, they presented me with a cake. The cake is sooooo lovely!
I refused to cut the cake till my irritant best friend arrived and that was after midnight but who cares!
It was a very intimate affair. However, they left the room at about 3am and their reason was to let me have 'alone time' with the boyfriend. No complaints though! Muahahaahaha!
The next day, the moment I entered my bedroom, I saw a present with colourful notes on it which put a smile on my face. My rugrats, they are full of sweet gestures. I love them!
My 28th was supposed to be my last birthday as a singleton. As a matter of fact it was supposed to be a birthday cum a hen's night celebration for me. However, I got disengaged fortunately (you read that right) and so I thought it was gonna be a partner-less birthday this year. It didn't bother me much as I know the girls will make me happy.
Ellis, Radia, Irin, Widie and Aizah, thanks for waking up early on a Saturday morning to celebrate my special day. I was expecting a rejection when I suggested we did breakfast but I got just the opposite. You guys are just special in many ways I can't describe!
Ellis, you got me there when you said you could not make it and Widie, your presence was a great surprise!
Nani, Nikki and Alop, thanks for the room and being there for me. Especially Nani and Nikki, thanks for entertaining my irritating-ness prior to the day! I still owe you both birthday presents and fyi, I will keep being an irritant to you both - forever!
Last but not least I am thankful that GOD presented me with this special irritant who managed to win my heart and who was there with me the moment I turned 28 and was there to fetch me and I just can't express enough just how glad that we crossed path. I thought wrong when I thought I was gonna be partner-less this year.
And so the new beau is called Izan and it's been good so far....
A friend told me 28th is always the best for some reasons. Well, mine has got a good start so we shall see......:)
Labels: my birthday, MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 8:47 PM
♥ Sunday, November 22, 2009
WHEN GOD TAKES SOMETHING FROM YOU, HE REPLACES IT WITH SOMETHING BETTER
Nani gave me the above quote in one of our daily routine emails. I think this is the best quote she has ever given to me...*winking at you Surai*
I met someone and he is definitely not my rebound. He is definitely better in every aspect. Read again - EVERY ASPECT. Be it physically, emotionally, mentally and most importantly, maturity.
I won't know if he's The One or not but for now everything seems to be falling into place. He gives me what I had always been yearning for and we are loving each others' company.
Again, it's still too soon to judge but for now, I'm really enjoying this and praying hard that he is indeed the reason why I had to go through all those shits.
They say, 'you will meet many wrong guys before finding the right one'. Well, I hope he is the right one cause I've gone through the 'many wrong guys' phase for more than a decade now.
INSYALLAH..
Labels: MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 1:27 AM
♥ Saturday, November 14, 2009
I AM IN MY MONTH!
Finally a breather...
I managed to catch up on my sleep last Thursday. I slept before 10pm and though there were 'interruptions' in between, I managed to compensate at least 3/4 of my lost sleep.
Today, I managed to take a long cold shower. It's been awhile since I actually spent almost an hour just to scrub, shave and feel fully cleansed right after stepping out of the bathroom. I smell damn good now! Heh!
I'm not complaining here. In fact I'm glad I was losing sleep for something worth it. Well, for now at least, I feel that it's worth it and I'm enjoying every single moment of it. I feel like a teenager once again. Those butterflies, anticipations are all back surrounding me. It's a nice feeling. It really is.
For the record, I will always remember Halloween 2009 - no matter what happens.
I ended my Halloween at 9am the next morning and I have not stopped smiling since...
I LOVE NOVEMBER! I REALLY DO...especially this year....:)
Labels: contented, MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 1:11 PM
♥ Wednesday, October 21, 2009
THE STORY OF US
It's amazing how the break up made me feel like a celebrity who wanted to have a press conference dedicated to her fans. Of course the differences for my case are 1) I'm not a celebrity 2) I don't have fans...or do I? Whatever it is, I know there are loads of curious parties wanting to know what happened, how it happened, when it happened and why it happened.I received dozens of smses asking how I was doing and if everything was for real. I was touched. Still am actually. People I never expected to show concern, showed concern. The morning smses, the messages via Facebook, the calls, emails really melted my heart. I'm just glad those people are genuinely concerned.
Of course there are always a group of humans judging and pointing their fingers at me. To them, I say WHATEVER! Keep viewing my blog because I am so gonna feed your curiosity and blog almost every single detail about my relationship with Mohamad Zaid aka Mr Shy (oh no! I don't know how to spell his first name - no wonder I was dumped! ;p).
In the meantime, keep on judging and guessing...
Labels: eqaid, MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 12:52 PM
♥ Sunday, October 18, 2009
BUSY BEE HAS BEEN REALLY BUSY!
As far as I can remember, I don't think I've been this occupied. I'm so busy that I don't even have time to catch up with my friends - even on the phone!
I've been working hard and going to SGH every single day. By the time I come back, it'll be close to 11pm.
I don't even have time to mourn about my disengagement. Hahahaha!
Mak has finally been discharged yesterday and thankfully she is recovering well. Alhamdulillah.
I've got lots to update. I can't wait to update you guys about my break up and please guys, don't sympathize me. Be happy with me as I am a much happier person now. My close ones can vouch for that...:)
Labels: MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 10:07 PM
♥ Saturday, October 10, 2009
PLEASE BE STRONG
Mak was diagnosed with Tongue cancer 2 weeks ago. She had to remove her tongue partially. The thought of her being in the operating theatre is scary. To see her right after her surgery was really heart-wrenching.
She had that oxygen thing on with lots of tubes piercing through her neck. For the first time, she looked like a 70 year old. A weak 70 year old.
If I could change roles with her, I would. Trust me on this. I want to take her pain away.
I can't go on. It's too much to handle and to look at.
Please pray that her will power is strong enough to go through this stage.
I'm a strong woman and I take after her. INSYALLAH, she will be strong for this too. I'm sure she wants to see me longer..
INSYALLAH, everything will go well...
INSYALLAH!
Labels: family, MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 1:51 PM
♥ Friday, October 2, 2009
THANKS FOR MAKING IT EASIER!
Some just do not know how, where and when to draw the lines...but oh well, not everyone uses their brains...:)
Labels: MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 12:55 PM
♥ Saturday, September 12, 2009
THE UNPREDICTABILITY OF ONE'S FEELINGS.
I was clearing my inbox after sahur this morning and there were 2 of Aid's messages dated in July. One of it was dated exactly 2 months ago - 12 July 2009. Both messages contained the words 'I Love You'. Both were sweet messages which made me melt when I read them.
What's ironic is, 2 months later his facebook page is filled with his declarations of how he doesn't feel anything at all towards our relationship and me. He changed his relationship status to 'It's Complicated' few weeks ago which led a friend of mine asking me if I was ok or not. He constantly updates his 'What's on your mind' space which brought attention to Irin that something isn't right between us. Subsequently I got a call from Radia and a message from Aizah.
See, Aid is the opposite of me. He is close to being expressionless. It's hard to hear him talking about his feelings or emotions. You have to really dig them out from him. To see him saying he loves me or how happy he is with me in public is like expecting the moon to drop from the sky. However, whenever we hit the rocks, he would be very vocal about it. He becomes the opposite. He thinks there is nothing wrong about this. I think it's just not right.
I'm vocal both ways. When I'm happy, I say it. When I'm unhappy, I say it too. It balances like that.
The only 2 persons that I told briefly about this rocky situation of mine are Elis and Zila. Even so, they do not know the full story. I don't see a need in sharing because it is the same reasons, same repeated mistakes and same lame 'explanations'. I'm sick of it and I don't wish to torment my friends with my same old stories or complaints!
Another reason I'm not talking about this is because we are engaged now and I have to respect his family and of course mine too. I don't want our parents to hear news from others besides us. Also, we're still officially engaged. As long as the ring is still in my hand, I'm still his fiance and he's still mine! Do take note of that!
Changing his relationship status and declaring his feelings to the FB citizens are just not necessary. Why tell the world when nothing is confirmed? You said you loved me 2 months ago. How sure are you that you won't love me again 2 months from now???
For now, I am not going to declare that the wedding is off. Like I said nothing is official yet. Us being us, we have the tendencies of ending up in each others' ground again after trying go to the greener grass. I don't want to say never because I don't want to end up having to eat back my words.
I don't have to update my blog for you guys to know our outcome. News travel fast. Especially news like this.
P.S To friends who care, please do not even try to talk to me about this unless I start the topic. I'm fine. I'm not feeling it yet so please respect my decision and not bring this issue up and please act normal.
Labels: eqaid, MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 1:30 PM
♥ Thursday, August 6, 2009
NISFU SYA'ABAN
For the first time in my life yesterday, I went to Expo not for a shopping spree but to attend a Tahlil.
The moment I entered the hall, I felt so calm. I don't know why but I was closed to tears. The feeling was indescribable. It was such a nice feeling.
The feeling was just the opposite when I was entering for Metro or John Little sales because for those 2 occasions, I just didn't know where to start and calmness was definitely not felt! It was totally different basically.
As the Yassin was being read, I questioned myself as to why had I not been attending such occasions for a long time? I believe no vacations can make me as calm as I felt yesterday. For a moment, I forgot of the current happenings and all I thought of was ALLAH and how to be a better Muslim. Now I know why Mum seems almost stress-free. She talks to GOD every single day.
Maybe I should speak to HIM more. INSYALLAH, I will be a better Muslim in time to come.
Slowly, but surely...Amin...
Labels: MY life, religion
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 11:59 PM
♥ Sunday, August 2, 2009
A BLEEDING PROBLEM
I am going through the second day of my menstrual and it is such a heavy flow. Extremely heavy. It's too heavy that I had to throw away my bedsheet. Yes! It's that bad so do imagine how much blood I've lost.
I've been facing this for 3 months now and I'm pretty worried. Most say it's normal, some say it may be a symptom to some illnesses. Yikes! That is scary and I don't even have the guts to go for a check up.
How like that?!
Labels: health, MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 11:58 PM
♥ Saturday, August 1, 2009
A BETTER MONTH, HOPEFULLY
I woke up to a frustration yesterday. Felt better after a few exchanged emails with the girls. Felt frustrated again at the later part of the day but that feeling went away the moment I met the girls.
It was such a pleasant meeting with full of laughters. I laughed so much till my stomach hurt. What will I do without these people? Seriously, I wonder how does one live without friends? I can never do that.
Got home passed 3am and ended my night crying to sleep. Maybe it's PMS. Maybe it's the situation. Maybe it's both. I don't know but what I know is I hope and I'll pray that August will be a good month that will lead to better days, better weeks and a start to better months.
I'm missing the old me very much. I realised I've lost so much of myself somehow...
Sigh!
Labels: MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 2:58 PM
♥ Thursday, July 30, 2009
A FEW DAYS TO THE EIGHTH MONTH
Another new month is approaching. I'm freaking out once again. July passes by too fast, I feel!
Come August, it's my mum's 70th birthday. 3 of my good friends' birthdays and I still owe a few house-warming gifts and what-nots.
It's also the month when I have to settle the bills. Wedding bills on top of the monthly bills!
August is also a month before Hari Raya. How can I not be freaking out?
Serves me right?
Maybe!
Labels: jobless, MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 4:56 PM
♥ Thursday, July 23, 2009
254
That is the number of resumes I've sent within these 2 months. In average, 127 resumes were sent in a month and 4 in a day.
Only 3 interviews I've gone thus far. 3! That is not even 1/10. That is like 1/80? You get what I mean?
As optimistic as I can be, I won't deny that there were some days where I felt like giving up. It got me frustrated just by sending resumes via emails!
I went for the 3rd interview yesterday. Big firm, new role but it's a temporary position. Highly paid though.
Out of the 3 interviews, I'm most keen in is the one I went for last week. Another well known firm known by many - even if you're not in the corporate world, pay not so high but the job scope sounded interesting. The benefits are great too. I'm still hoping for that - even after a week of no news from them.
Unpleasantness aside, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Looking forward to be with Aid in a coach for 5 hours.
It's gonna be a great weekend definitely. Out of Singapore with the one I love. Yeah!
Labels: MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 11:48 AM
