I was clearing my inbox after sahur this morning and there were 2 of Aid's messages dated in July. One of it was dated exactly 2 months ago - 12 July 2009. Both messages contained the words 'I Love You'. Both were sweet messages which made me melt when I read them.
What's ironic is, 2 months later his facebook page is filled with his declarations of how he doesn't feel anything at all towards our relationship and me. He changed his relationship status to 'It's Complicated' few weeks ago which led a friend of mine asking me if I was ok or not. He constantly updates his 'What's on your mind' space which brought attention to Irin that something isn't right between us. Subsequently I got a call from Radia and a message from Aizah.
See, Aid is the opposite of me. He is close to being expressionless. It's hard to hear him talking about his feelings or emotions. You have to really dig them out from him. To see him saying he loves me or how happy he is with me in public is like expecting the moon to drop from the sky. However, whenever we hit the rocks, he would be very vocal about it. He becomes the opposite. He thinks there is nothing wrong about this. I think it's just not right.
I'm vocal both ways. When I'm happy, I say it. When I'm unhappy, I say it too. It balances like that.
The only 2 persons that I told briefly about this rocky situation of mine are Elis and Zila. Even so, they do not know the full story. I don't see a need in sharing because it is the same reasons, same repeated mistakes and same lame 'explanations'. I'm sick of it and I don't wish to torment my friends with my same old stories or complaints!
Another reason I'm not talking about this is because we are engaged now and I have to respect his family and of course mine too. I don't want our parents to hear news from others besides us. Also, we're still officially engaged. As long as the ring is still in my hand, I'm still his fiance and he's still mine! Do take note of that!
Changing his relationship status and declaring his feelings to the FB citizens are just not necessary. Why tell the world when nothing is confirmed? You said you loved me 2 months ago. How sure are you that you won't love me again 2 months from now???
For now, I am not going to declare that the wedding is off. Like I said nothing is official yet. Us being us, we have the tendencies of ending up in each others' ground again after trying go to the greener grass. I don't want to say never because I don't want to end up having to eat back my words.
I don't have to update my blog for you guys to know our outcome. News travel fast. Especially news like this.
P.S To friends who care, please do not even try to talk to me about this unless I start the topic. I'm fine. I'm not feeling it yet so please respect my decision and not bring this issue up and please act normal.
Labels: eqaid, MY life
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 1:30 PM
