MY Thoughts, MY Words, MY Life!

2010-06-03T10:46:00.005+08:00

SPACED OUT

This space is getting dusty. This space is getting crowded with unnecessary attentions. This space is getting old.

I'm moving to a different space soon and please, if you were to find it (which I know you will), keep on reading if you're capable of not judging.

2010-04-29T17:45:00.004+08:00

I NEED A HOLIDAY!

How time flies, it's already the second last day of April. It's gonna be May in 2 days and the next thing we know, it's gonna be year end once again.

The start of the second quarter has not been as good as the first. My honeymoon period is coming to an end and I did not hit my target last month and this month, I'm really hoping for a miracle to happen.

As days go by, I'm getting really suffocated at home! The kids are growing and they have more things and SHE IS STILL NOT MOVING!!! I'm hoping to get a cheap rental somewhere.

I'm tired mentally and emotionally. I need a holiday! Bandung seems to be tempting for some reasons. I want to go back to Krabi but I don't wish to reminisce unnecessarily.

I miss partying and being carefree. I miss being with my girlfriends in full strength. I miss the good old days! Girls, let's plan for a girls' night out soon please! Alternatively, a short getaway would be great too because I really need to be out of the country...

2010-04-23T01:21:00.005+08:00

PLEASE BE IN MY DREAMS

An old friend cum colleague has just lost his dad. Like mine, his dad passed on at the age of 63 - just like our prophet.

Reading his updated FB statuses every now and then, it's clear that my friend is missing his father already and it has been barely a week I think. I feel him! I really do!

Just last week, I cried myself to sleep because I was looking at Abah's picture. At this moment, I'm crying again! I am missing him very much - no words can explain. I can't even look at his picture or talk about him without tearing.

I want him in my dreams. I want to feel him in my dreams. I want to talk to him in my dreams.

It's the 12th year this year and I'm missing him more and more each day that it hurts!

The saying 'Time Will Heal The Pain' definitely does apply here as I'm still feeling the hurt till today. In fact, it gets worse each time..

2010-04-14T09:17:00.005+08:00

BAD MORNING!!!

I hate it when the I have a bad start of the day! Any day, I am NOT looking forward to a bad start because I feel that if it's a bad start, the whole day will be ruined!

I'm supposed to be at work but I'm at home now, on my bed facing the laptop instead of the desktop in my office. Simply because my morning has been ruined!!!

I woke up as usual today. Showered, checked my phone and got an sms reply that was sent last night! It was NOT a pleasant sms of course! One sms after another and I was already contemplating if I should go to work or not. Time was already 740am and I was still busy sms-ing!

Went back to the loo because the stomach ached, did my business, came out and ready to get dressed just to realise that my pants is missing!!! Tried to wear something else but I'm just too fat to fit into anything now!

This is why I hate to start the day badly because when one thing is screwed, there will always be another thing that will follow suit and having a room that is damn messy is not helping either!

I need to get new wardrobes soon!!! Money, come fall from the sky now!

In the meantime, today, I'm gonna hate everything - as said in the images below!

2010-04-11T22:21:00.010+08:00

WHEN HER EGO IS BIGGER THAN HER LOVE!

I was told that I have a solid heart.

I saw it with my own eyes that I've hurt my loved one.

No tears from my eyes but I promise you that I will break that stone and be that girl I used to be many, many years ago. A girl with more emotions and less ego.

I would not want to lose a gem. I'll change and actions definitely speak louder than words. For you Suhaizan Dahlan, are the best amongst the rest!

Give me a chance, will you please?

2010-04-03T00:47:00.024+08:00

MARCH HIGHLIGHTS

It was supposed to be an All-Girls trip but after a few 'unforeseen circumstances', it became a short getaway for 2 couples. Radia, Vijay, Izan and I went to Batam in mid March and all I can say is that Batam has changed a lot since the last time I went there - about a year and a half ago.

They sell much nicer clothes now. Izan and I will definitely go back there again. Soon I hope!

Anyway, it was a nice weekend. A weekend which Izan and I really bonded. So bonded that I could not resist him! LOL!

The following weekend, Izan and I had another double date session. This time, it was with Nikki and Alop. I finally managed to eat the most-talked about Buffalo wings. We went to the one in Seletar and chose Level 4 because one of us is not really into spicy food. You'll figure who I'm referring to in awhile.

To me, I think the food there are overly priced and nothing great about the taste.

Nevertheless, we all had a good time especially after this:

Just too bad that we could not have a proper double date. Damn those windows!

Another March highlight was when I made 3 of my rugrats modelled for my pre-loved clothes. It was yet another quality time with the 3 girls and despite the fact that they perspired like they had ran 10km, I know they had fun too!

2010-03-29T22:15:00.009+08:00

THE EXCESS BAGGAGE

At this age, when you meet someone be it the same or the opposite sex, more often than not that person will have an excess baggage in their packages.

Even I have a package which consists of an excess baggage. Aside from the never-ending mood swings, I have the title of bekas tunang orang. Wait! That's not an excess baggage - that's a title of an item which comes in a package. My package! Excess baggage would be if we had gotten the house we applied for. Thank GOD our application didn't go through! Really thankful for that. It would be such a hassle!

Excess baggage comes in all kinds of shapes, sizes, things, humans and even animals. Yes! Animals. A friend of mine fell in love with this wonderful guy who had adopted a dog with his former girlfriend. The dog was his excess baggage for a period of time. It was also a link for him to communicate with his former girlfriend. Though it was all clean, I'm damn sure my friend wasn't comfortable about it but of course to the guy, it's nothing to be uncomfortable about because that's how usually guys think! That excess baggage lasted for about 4 months and they're still happily in love.

My divorced cousin, married her 2nd husband who was single and so eligible then. Her excess baggage was her 3 sons! Again, that's not really an excess baggage. It's more of a package. Simply because the 3 sons were in no way a link for her to communicate with her former husband. It would have been if the roles were reversed and her husband needs to give alimony every month. Now, that would be a never-ending excess baggage!!!

So Dear Readers, do you get the definition of an excess baggage already? Something tangible that is linked to your past that is!

As mentioned, it has become quite common these days for us to be dating humans with an excess baggage/baggages. We just have to accept that fact if the package looks promising. However, there will be times when certain things we are just no comfortable of and about. The best solution is to talk to our partners.

Dear Partners, if you do get a whine or two or even countless whines about your partners' being uncomfortable with your very own excess baggage, please take those words into account and please do not provoke.

It's not ego. It's jealousy and insecurity. Okay, maybe a little bit of ego but still, please do understand us.

It will mean a lot and it will avoid lots of unnecessary arguments and sulkings...

2010-03-06T23:59:00.004+08:00

OH LISTEN TO ME WHINE, DEAR BLOG!

I love having a blog because I feel at ease after blogging my thoughts. I can write everything and anything freely without any interruptions or rebutts.

Don't get me wrong, I do have a bunch of great listeners but sometimes I just prefer to blog. They'll find out what's bothering me from here anyways. That saves me from repeating my sentences again and again.

I hardly confide things to my siblings. I blame it on generation gap. We are more than 12 years apart at least!

My friends are busy with their own things of late. Again, don't get me wrong. I know for sure they are willing to listen to my rants anyday, anytime but I just don't want to invade their personal space.

I miss the good old days when all of us were seeing each other almost every other day and talked about everything. Now, we have to make do with once-in-a-month meeting and summarise monthly happenings to each other all at once!

Change! Something I'll never be able to agree with!

The boyfriend? Well, I've always preferred confiding in friends than the partner for I've concluded that the men just wont get it. Also, what if the complaint is about him? Furthermore, it's really different when you confide things to your friends and partner. The responses you get are different and sometimes with the latter, it can end up in arguments. Agree?

There are certain things which I'd like to be comforted by my partner, certain things I'd prefer my friends.

For instance, I blogged something about my dad last year in the hope that the then partner would give me a call of comfort because I knew he was reading my entries. Instead of calling, he went MIA and the excuse was because 'I was afraid of saying the wrong things which will make you even more upset'. I was dumbfounded upon hearing that! Seriously, just a bloody phone call would have made me felt so much better!

That just proved my point that men just don't get it, right? Or maybe his is a special case. I had comfort calls from my girlfriends instead. Oh! Why am I not surprise??!

Yesterday, I had a rough day at work. I told 3 of my GFs and the BF about it. 2/3 of the GFs know the full story of my complaint while the BF, till this day only know half of it. Simply because, he probably didn't think it was that serious.

I don't blame him. That's the nature of their species and please I'm not comparing. They are worlds apart! I'm talking in general here.

Today, there are so many thoughts running through my head and staying at home with a spoiled TV in the bedroom is not making it better.

So who do I go to on days like this? I don't want to bother the GFs and my other half is unwell and a little cold towards me over last night's petty argument.

Usually, I'll just coop myself up in the room. I've not showered the whole day and feel a little wrecked right now. Nothing serious really, it's just one of those days when I just don't feel right!

I thought I needed to let something out so I logged on to Blogger...

Thumbs up to the inventor of Blogs!

2010-02-21T23:59:00.016+08:00

BIGGER SIDEWAYS!

You know as you grow bigger you tend to have THE most possible one big problem. That big problem being you can't fit into your clothes anymore.

I was uploading photos of January events on facebook earlier today and to my horror, I realised that I've been wearing the same clothes again and again! In that one album, you'd be able to see me wearing the same attire thrice!

I ~~have~~ had this theory of not wearing the same top/printed bottoms more than once in a month because I hate it when you randomly bump into someone twice in that month, you are being spotted wearing the same thing. I'm sure that has happened to some of you and because I would remember what that person wore the last time, I assume the other party would remember what he/she saw me in.

I really have nothing left to wear and I refuse to buy new clothes till I lose weight and I don't feel comfortable wearing something tight that will enhance the bulging tummy! I really have limited choice of clothes to wear now. So limited that it gives Izan the idea that I don't have much clothes! Hah! *dia tak tahu hal eh kawan-kawan*

I am very depressed because I seriously can't fit into most of my clothes. Everything is bulging now and I weighed myself few days back and tadah Miss Sixty is back!!!

My girlfriends think I'm exaggerating but I am so not. Maybe I should be naked in front of them to make them believe me.

In the meantime, if you were to bump into me twice or even thrice in the same month or even the following month wearing the same thing, please do not think I have not been changing clothes. :(

I am so determine to go the gym every week now! I need to! I don't have a choice!!!

2010-02-11T16:42:00.008+08:00

2010 HAS BEEN GOOD SO FAR

It's barely 2 months I know but it's been raining money. For me and some people around me at least. For the first time since I started taking orders for Honey/Chocolate Cornflakes, I had a total order of 2000pcs which I had to finish in less than 2 weeks! Surprisingly I managed to do it and I'm really proud of myself. It is a big deal hokay! Despite the little time I have after work, I still manage to do it. I also had some orders from colleagues. In total, I spent 3 weeks mixing the cornflakes with the chocolates and honey. I lost sleep and had no time for myself even. No complaints though since it's easy money!

Third week of January, the 3 Sagittarians did a flea market and the profits made were quite overwhelming. Those 3 days were also bonding periods between the 3 couples. It's really nice to see our men blending well right girls? :)

Work has been quite political of late but heck, it's my rice bowl and ALHAMDULILLAH, I hit target and I can't wait for my pay this month!

Mum is getting better and slowly getting her taste bud back. I can't wait to take her out for meals.

I'm loving 2010 and I hope nothing will change.

Now that I already have time, I hope to catch up with friends and more quality time with the boyfriend. He's been busy with his own stuffs too!

In the meantime, I'm trying to google for places to go to during our CNY break. Recommendations anyone? I don't mind being a tourist in my own country.

2010-01-08T13:35:00.004+08:00

FIRST WEEK OF 2010

A week has passed in the new year. I don't know if I should blog about my 2009 or how I would like my 2010 to be. I'm skipping the usual resolution entry because seriously, I really do not know what are my resolutions for this year.

Maybe I'll summarise my 2009 in another entry - if I have the time and mood for it that is.

At the moment, 2010 has been good so far (only 7 days, what do you expect??). I ended 2009 with my family, woke up with them next to me too and spent the entire of the first day of 2010 with my sweetheart.

Everything seems good. Good! Good! Good! Not only for me but the people around me as well!

Tata for now till my next entry...and oh, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

P.S Enjoy the precious moments people as 2012 is in 2 years time - we're dying apparently! *roll eyes*

2009-12-20T19:04:00.006+08:00

GO AWAY MISS SIXTY!

I put on this particular pants to work the other day and it felt so tight that I was scared to even climb the stairs. I was afraid that if I was rushing, I might hear the tearing sound. I could not move freely.

I am beginning to feel heavy and having short hair now doesn't help. It only makes me look chubbier. No wonder someone doesn't get over it.

I refused to weigh myself on my birthday. I refused to do so again on December 1 because I know damn well that I had put on weight.

I was right. I am so damn right! I've put on 2kg in 2 months. I was only 56kg during Mak Nenek's wedding! Thanks to the non-stop laughing sessions and candies I guess.

I don't want to be Miss Sixty ever again! Not now at least till maybe I get pregnant.

I freeze my gym account for this month so I'm definitely will unfreeze it back next month and make it a point to go at least twice a week! I will and if I don't, someone will definitely bug me to go without fail!

I have to lose weight! I want to fit into those clothes again! I want to have flat stomach again! I want to have not-so-flabby arms again!

In the meantime, I shall start going out for lunch as staying in the office equals to sitting for 9 hours a day! I shall sue more members so that I will be going to and fro the Subordinate Court and that equals to lots of walking. Last but not least, I must start doing crunches every night. I will start tonight!

I want to look good for 2010! I have 10 days to the new year!

We shall seeeeeeeeeeeeee.....!

2009-12-18T22:37:00.002+08:00

COUNTING DOWN TO 2010

13 days to a brand new year! I can't wait. I don't know why but I just can't wait for 2010 to come.

2009 had a beautiful beginning. It's also ending beautifully - only with a slight change. I just want to officially welcome the same old me in 2010.

But before that, I'd better finish the unfinished businesses and clear the unnecessary mess. I have 13 days left to do all that..Yikes!

P.S Stalker, time to change the skin bebeh

2009-12-12T20:47:00.001+08:00

A LITTLE CHANGE ON MY 28TH

The past years, I had been counting down my birthday with the girls. This year, I was quite sad when I realised Hari Raya Haji fell on the eve of my birthday. Obviously some of them couldn't make it so I requested them to have breakfast with me. Honestly, I wasn't expecting them to agree because most of them are not morning people.

Before I go on about the girls, I'd like to share about my so-called pre-celebrations.

I got my first cake a week before my birthday at coffee bean which I wasn't expecting at all though I was wishing for it silently.

Thanks for reading my mind. It was sweet. You guys were sweeter than the cake - literally! Hah!

2 days before the actual day, I got a present delivered to my office. It was something that I asked for from Mak Nenek. She had it delivered because she could not celebrate with me on the actual day (so she said!). I was happy I got my present but I'd rather have her on my birthday and forgo the present. Heh!

On the same day, my department gave me Isetan vouchers which I bought a perfume with.

Then came the eve of my birthday when people were asking if I was going out or not. I didn't have any plans and just wanted to spend time at home. The new beau was out alone watching New Moon. 10 - 20 minutes before midnight when I was already asleep, he called me and told me to be down in 5!

I was actually irritated more than elated because I was already in dreamland. Of course I went down anyway and I'm glad that I did.

He surprised me with the cake above in his own romantic way. I seriously wasn't expecting a cake from him. He had asked me weeks before my birthday if I had to choose, would I choose a heart shape or a round shape. A sucker in love that I am, obviously I chose the heart shape and tadah! I got a heart shaped cake and it tasted good too!

A few minutes after that, he gave me my present in a very irritating way! I was expecting a little gift from him but I wasn't expecting that from him! He put it on for me and it's just a perfect gift which I put on the very next day.

Now let's go back to the the actual day - with 2 different clans.

The woman above appeared at my door step before 11am! At the lift lobby, I asked her, why was she carrying a shawl? I was wondering because she already had a little jacket on and weather that morning wasn't that cold. She mumbled something which I didn't bother to probe further.

The moment we got down, she wanted to blind fold me - with the scarf! I should have known!!!

Since they wanted me to be blind-folded so much, I decided to cover my whole face with the 'bandage' not because I was embarrassed but it was to embarrass them! Muahahahaha!

Just so you know, I was told not to wear a skirt or a dress but any kind of tops would be fine. Thank GOD I put on a bra that morning or it could be disastrous. You'll find out why.

They brought me to ice-skating! It is such a pity that we didn't get a single shot of us in there but I'm sure everyone of us will definitely remember that experience. The falling, the fear, the hogging of railings. It was fun and can you imagine if I hadn't put on the bra?!

They then brought me to Hyatt for high-tea. After which we did an impromptu shopping at Far East. By the time we finished, it was time for me to meet the next group.

Thanks girls for always making the time to be there for me.

Now, part 2 of the same day. The boyfriend fetched me at DFS at about 730pm and we headed to Sentosa. They got me a room at Siloso and again, it was such a pity that I didn't get to take pictures of the hotel's vicinity.

Went to the room, got a shock from Nikki and shortly after that, they presented me with a cake. The cake is sooooo lovely!

I refused to cut the cake till my irritant best friend arrived and that was after midnight but who cares!

It was a very intimate affair. However, they left the room at about 3am and their reason was to let me have 'alone time' with the boyfriend. No complaints though! Muahahaahaha!

The next day, the moment I entered my bedroom, I saw a present with colourful notes on it which put a smile on my face. My rugrats, they are full of sweet gestures. I love them!

My 28th was supposed to be my last birthday as a singleton. As a matter of fact it was supposed to be a birthday cum a hen's night celebration for me. However, I got disengaged fortunately (you read that right) and so I thought it was gonna be a partner-less birthday this year. It didn't bother me much as I know the girls will make me happy.

Ellis, Radia, Irin, Widie and Aizah, thanks for waking up early on a Saturday morning to celebrate my special day. I was expecting a rejection when I suggested we did breakfast but I got just the opposite. You guys are just special in many ways I can't describe!

Ellis, you got me there when you said you could not make it and Widie, your presence was a great surprise!

Nani, Nikki and Alop, thanks for the room and being there for me. Especially Nani and Nikki, thanks for entertaining my irritating-ness prior to the day! I still owe you both birthday presents and fyi, I will keep being an irritant to you both - forever!

Last but not least I am thankful that GOD presented me with this special irritant who managed to win my heart and who was there with me the moment I turned 28 and was there to fetch me and I just can't express enough just how glad that we crossed path. I thought wrong when I thought I was gonna be partner-less this year.

And so the new beau is called Izan and it's been good so far....

A friend told me 28th is always the best for some reasons. Well, mine has got a good start so we shall see......:)

2009-11-28T03:10:00.005+08:00

AT MIDNIGHT

My candy man surprised me with a cake and a bangle as the birthday gift. I made him sing me a birthday song. He did adorably.

We spent a little time together and again he made me smile from ear to ear.

I'm officially a happy 28 year-old now....

2009-11-22T01:27:00.008+08:00

WHEN GOD TAKES SOMETHING FROM YOU, HE REPLACES IT WITH SOMETHING BETTER

Nani gave me the above quote in one of our daily routine emails. I think this is the best quote she has ever given to me...*winking at you Surai*

I met someone and he is definitely not my rebound. He is definitely better in every aspect. Read again - EVERY ASPECT. Be it physically, emotionally, mentally and most importantly, maturity.

I won't know if he's The One or not but for now everything seems to be falling into place. He gives me what I had always been yearning for and we are loving each others' company.

Again, it's still too soon to judge but for now, I'm really enjoying this and praying hard that he is indeed the reason why I had to go through all those shits.

They say, 'you will meet many wrong guys before finding the right one'. Well, I hope he is the right one cause I've gone through the 'many wrong guys' phase for more than a decade now.

INSYALLAH..

2009-11-14T13:11:00.003+08:00

I AM IN MY MONTH!

Finally a breather...

I managed to catch up on my sleep last Thursday. I slept before 10pm and though there were 'interruptions' in between, I managed to compensate at least 3/4 of my lost sleep.

Today, I managed to take a long cold shower. It's been awhile since I actually spent almost an hour just to scrub, shave and feel fully cleansed right after stepping out of the bathroom. I smell damn good now! Heh!

I'm not complaining here. In fact I'm glad I was losing sleep for something worth it. Well, for now at least, I feel that it's worth it and I'm enjoying every single moment of it. I feel like a teenager once again. Those butterflies, anticipations are all back surrounding me. It's a nice feeling. It really is.

For the record, I will always remember Halloween 2009 - no matter what happens.

I ended my Halloween at 9am the next morning and I have not stopped smiling since...

I LOVE NOVEMBER! I REALLY DO...especially this year....:)

2009-10-21T12:52:00.002+08:00

THE STORY OF US

It's amazing how the break up made me feel like a celebrity who wanted to have a press conference dedicated to her fans. Of course the differences for my case are 1) I'm not a celebrity 2) I don't have fans...or do I? Whatever it is, I know there are loads of curious parties wanting to know what happened, how it happened, when it happened and why it happened.

I received dozens of smses asking how I was doing and if everything was for real. I was touched. Still am actually. People I never expected to show concern, showed concern. The morning smses, the messages via Facebook, the calls, emails really melted my heart. I'm just glad those people are genuinely concerned.

Of course there are always a group of humans judging and pointing their fingers at me. To them, I say WHATEVER! Keep viewing my blog because I am so gonna feed your curiosity and blog almost every single detail about my relationship with Mohamad Zaid aka Mr Shy (oh no! I don't know how to spell his first name - no wonder I was dumped! ;p).

In the meantime, keep on judging and guessing...

2009-10-18T22:07:00.003+08:00

BUSY BEE HAS BEEN REALLY BUSY!

As far as I can remember, I don't think I've been this occupied. I'm so busy that I don't even have time to catch up with my friends - even on the phone!

I've been working hard and going to SGH every single day. By the time I come back, it'll be close to 11pm.

I don't even have time to mourn about my disengagement. Hahahaha!

Mak has finally been discharged yesterday and thankfully she is recovering well. Alhamdulillah.

I've got lots to update. I can't wait to update you guys about my break up and please guys, don't sympathize me. Be happy with me as I am a much happier person now. My close ones can vouch for that...:)

2009-10-10T13:51:00.003+08:00

PLEASE BE STRONG

Mak was diagnosed with Tongue cancer 2 weeks ago. She had to remove her tongue partially. The thought of her being in the operating theatre is scary. To see her right after her surgery was really heart-wrenching.

She had that oxygen thing on with lots of tubes piercing through her neck. For the first time, she looked like a 70 year old. A weak 70 year old.

If I could change roles with her, I would. Trust me on this. I want to take her pain away.

I can't go on. It's too much to handle and to look at.

Please pray that her will power is strong enough to go through this stage.

I'm a strong woman and I take after her. INSYALLAH, she will be strong for this too. I'm sure she wants to see me longer..

INSYALLAH, everything will go well...

INSYALLAH!

2009-10-02T12:55:00.001+08:00

THANKS FOR MAKING IT EASIER!

Some just do not know how, where and when to draw the lines...but oh well, not everyone uses their brains...:)

2009-09-12T13:30:00.002+08:00

THE UNPREDICTABILITY OF ONE'S FEELINGS.

I was clearing my inbox after sahur this morning and there were 2 of Aid's messages dated in July. One of it was dated exactly 2 months ago - 12 July 2009. Both messages contained the words 'I Love You'. Both were sweet messages which made me melt when I read them.

What's ironic is, 2 months later his facebook page is filled with his declarations of how he doesn't feel anything at all towards our relationship and me. He changed his relationship status to 'It's Complicated' few weeks ago which led a friend of mine asking me if I was ok or not. He constantly updates his 'What's on your mind' space which brought attention to Irin that something isn't right between us. Subsequently I got a call from Radia and a message from Aizah.

See, Aid is the opposite of me. He is close to being expressionless. It's hard to hear him talking about his feelings or emotions. You have to really dig them out from him. To see him saying he loves me or how happy he is with me in public is like expecting the moon to drop from the sky. However, whenever we hit the rocks, he would be very vocal about it. He becomes the opposite. He thinks there is nothing wrong about this. I think it's just not right.

I'm vocal both ways. When I'm happy, I say it. When I'm unhappy, I say it too. It balances like that.

The only 2 persons that I told briefly about this rocky situation of mine are Elis and Zila. Even so, they do not know the full story. I don't see a need in sharing because it is the same reasons, same repeated mistakes and same lame 'explanations'. I'm sick of it and I don't wish to torment my friends with my same old stories or complaints!

Another reason I'm not talking about this is because we are engaged now and I have to respect his family and of course mine too. I don't want our parents to hear news from others besides us. Also, we're still officially engaged. As long as the ring is still in my hand, I'm still his fiance and he's still mine! Do take note of that!

Changing his relationship status and declaring his feelings to the FB citizens are just not necessary. Why tell the world when nothing is confirmed? You said you loved me 2 months ago. How sure are you that you won't love me again 2 months from now???

For now, I am not going to declare that the wedding is off. Like I said nothing is official yet. Us being us, we have the tendencies of ending up in each others' ground again after trying go to the greener grass. I don't want to say never because I don't want to end up having to eat back my words.

I don't have to update my blog for you guys to know our outcome. News travel fast. Especially news like this.

P.S To friends who care, please do not even try to talk to me about this unless I start the topic. I'm fine. I'm not feeling it yet so please respect my decision and not bring this issue up and please act normal.

2009-08-30T13:39:00.005+08:00

MOVE OUT PLEASE!

I'm trying hard not to blog about my own flesh and blood but I need to let this out! Just a little bit.

It's time for you to move out, seriously! The corners of this house are not cute spaces to put your clutters! It has never been!

Yes, this house is not under my name but at least my identity card states this address so please, be a grown up and try to live in your own home! You have a fucking house for goodness sake and it is as big as this! From Bedok, to Simei and all the way to Pasir Ris!! Even when someone new is about to settle down here, you are still here!!!

I am so full of hatred with zero respect for you now! I hope you are reading this! Really do!

2009-08-23T21:23:00.004+08:00

HER 70TH

I had so many plans in my head but I was broke to put the plans to actions and it so happened that the day fell on the first day of Ramadhan.

I brought her to dinner and ordered her a cake. It turned out to be a huge 6kg cake!

The plan worked out. She didn't even know the cake was in the house. The cake was delivered when she took a nap and when we carried it to Ateh's place, it so happened that her back was facing the cake.

Everything went well. ALHAMDULILLAH!!

May she lives many more years. I never want to disappoint her again. I'll try my very best!

2009-08-13T23:50:00.005+08:00

PLATONIC IS DEFINITELY POSSIBLE

10 years ago, I was involved in NDP as an usher. I had to be at the National Stadium almost every week for 2 months.

One day, I was seated on one of the steps, watching the rehearsals all by myself, there were a group of NS boys around me. These was the same guys that Fidz and I had been talking about. Well, we were in our 'girl power' stage and any guy that came our way, we'd love to tease.

Anyway, there was this one guy in particular needed to ask me something but he hesitated because apparently I looked stuck-up. He did ask anyway but I can't really remember what was it all about.

Few days later, we came to know that we had to work hand in hand with the mentioned group of NS boys. They turned out to be fun, crazy and nice boys who Fidz, Farah, Lynn and I enjoyed to be around with.

We went out, hung out and remained friends even after the whole parade was over. and the whole group even came to my place during Raya. I got close to one of them but there was nothing going on, really. However, one of the girls got really jealous of us and started to behave indifferently. Well, actually 2 of them behaved weirdly towards me and Fidz! We still went out without those 2 girls because like I've mentioned, they are really nice and they really respected us.

Somehow along the way, I kindda went out on a date with one of them. Can't really remember the places we went but I can still remember that we did go to Lido and ate at Long John. I was wearing a blue dress and he was in his bermudas - slekeh as usual! We got closer and went out more often and slowly we introduced each other to our different circle of friends. He met mine and I met his and we realised what we had was really special and didn't want to screw it up.

We both knew if we were to get into a relationship and if the relationship fails, we would lose a great friendship. We made a promise to each other that we would remain as friends.

Good friends we became and there were times when I made use of him when I could not find a date to go to weddings, functions or whatever and likewise, he would make use of me by standing close to me whenever a girl he didn't like was approaching him in clubs.

We were so close that people thought we were sleeping with each other. In a harsh way, fucking buddies. It came to a point where we got sick of convincing them that we were not doing it, all we did was to laugh it off. Let them believe whatever they want/wanted.

We managed to remain as good friends till he finished serving the nation, we became good friends till we both found someone we loved, we remained friends even when our then partners didn't like us being friends. We became friends through the years.

Few years passed by and he ended up with one of my good friends. Though it was a little awkward for us three in the beginning, we pulled through till shit happened on the third year. It was something really big and something really bad. I was so disgusted that I didn't bother to listen to both sides of the stories and decided to severe all ties with him. I cursed him, I scolded him, I sent him an unpleasant email, I could not stand the mere mention of his name. I didn't even invite him to 2 occasions of mine.

I took sides and that was a big mistake! I should have listened to both sides of the story and ironically the person whose sides I was in doesn't give a shit about me now! Karma perhaps!

It took me awhile to notice that I had done a mistake. I wanted to reconcile things but I didn't know how to. I got a text from him on my engagement day and I was closed to tears. I saw him on the Internet but I didn't know how to start a conversation. I was praying not to bump into him because I would not know how to start talking.

A few months later Nikki reappeared and she was trying every ways and means to make us meet. She tried to trick us, trapped us but failed (she's a bad liar by the way). We both told her that we were not ready to meet. To break the ice, we chatted on Facebook where both of us started to reminisce and became emotional thinking about the past.

Nikki tried to trap us again last month. We both saw through her (yet again) but this time round, we both were ready and finally saw each other face to face again. We hugged and I bit him real bad. The weird thing was, we were not feeling weird at all. It felt good. It felt good talking to him again.

The recent National Day marked our 10th year of our platonic friendship. A relationship between 2 opposite sex which did not include any sexual activities.

Believe in platonic, it is possible. :)

Just so you know, the boy in the picture above still keeps his promise to always be there for me no matter what happens.

I know you are reading this (cause I made you to) and all I want to say is I'm sorry and I love you!

To Nikki, (I know you will read this as well, cause you are a kepo-chee), thanks for 'trapping' us and I don't love you still. LOL!

2009-08-06T23:59:00.003+08:00

NISFU SYA'ABAN

For the first time in my life yesterday, I went to Expo not for a shopping spree but to attend a Tahlil.

The moment I entered the hall, I felt so calm. I don't know why but I was closed to tears. The feeling was indescribable. It was such a nice feeling.

The feeling was just the opposite when I was entering for Metro or John Little sales because for those 2 occasions, I just didn't know where to start and calmness was definitely not felt! It was totally different basically.

As the Yassin was being read, I questioned myself as to why had I not been attending such occasions for a long time? I believe no vacations can make me as calm as I felt yesterday. For a moment, I forgot of the current happenings and all I thought of was ALLAH and how to be a better Muslim. Now I know why Mum seems almost stress-free. She talks to GOD every single day.

Maybe I should speak to HIM more. INSYALLAH, I will be a better Muslim in time to come.

Slowly, but surely...Amin...

2009-08-02T23:58:00.005+08:00

A BLEEDING PROBLEM

I am going through the second day of my menstrual and it is such a heavy flow. Extremely heavy. It's too heavy that I had to throw away my bedsheet. Yes! It's that bad so do imagine how much blood I've lost.

I've been facing this for 3 months now and I'm pretty worried. Most say it's normal, some say it may be a symptom to some illnesses. Yikes! That is scary and I don't even have the guts to go for a check up.

How like that?!

2009-08-01T14:58:00.001+08:00

A BETTER MONTH, HOPEFULLY

I woke up to a frustration yesterday. Felt better after a few exchanged emails with the girls. Felt frustrated again at the later part of the day but that feeling went away the moment I met the girls.

It was such a pleasant meeting with full of laughters. I laughed so much till my stomach hurt. What will I do without these people? Seriously, I wonder how does one live without friends? I can never do that.

Got home passed 3am and ended my night crying to sleep. Maybe it's PMS. Maybe it's the situation. Maybe it's both. I don't know but what I know is I hope and I'll pray that August will be a good month that will lead to better days, better weeks and a start to better months.

I'm missing the old me very much. I realised I've lost so much of myself somehow...

Sigh!

2009-07-30T16:56:00.004+08:00

A FEW DAYS TO THE EIGHTH MONTH

Another new month is approaching. I'm freaking out once again. July passes by too fast, I feel!

Come August, it's my mum's 70th birthday. 3 of my good friends' birthdays and I still owe a few house-warming gifts and what-nots.

It's also the month when I have to settle the bills. Wedding bills on top of the monthly bills!

August is also a month before Hari Raya. How can I not be freaking out?

Serves me right?

Maybe!

2009-07-23T11:48:00.002+08:00

254

That is the number of resumes I've sent within these 2 months. In average, 127 resumes were sent in a month and 4 in a day.

Only 3 interviews I've gone thus far. 3! That is not even 1/10. That is like 1/80? You get what I mean?

As optimistic as I can be, I won't deny that there were some days where I felt like giving up. It got me frustrated just by sending resumes via emails!

I went for the 3rd interview yesterday. Big firm, new role but it's a temporary position. Highly paid though.

Out of the 3 interviews, I'm most keen in is the one I went for last week. Another well known firm known by many - even if you're not in the corporate world, pay not so high but the job scope sounded interesting. The benefits are great too. I'm still hoping for that - even after a week of no news from them.

Unpleasantness aside, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Looking forward to be with Aid in a coach for 5 hours.

It's gonna be a great weekend definitely. Out of Singapore with the one I love. Yeah!

2009-07-20T19:56:00.011+08:00

A KILOGRAM HEAVIER OVER THE WEEKEND!

Let me go straight to the point of what kept me occupied over the weekend:

Friday, it was Chana's wedding at Fort Canning. Solemnisation was at about 5pm. It was the first time I witnessed an english version of akad nikah. I think it's simpler in english but I prefer the malay version.

Right after the nikah, her girlfriends and I started to help out with whatever that was needed. Mel and I was in charge of the wedding favours.

Picture below are the ones who were in charge of the reception, flowers etc.

For the first time (in my life), I witnessed a malay wedding dinner which started on time. Err..not really on time but it was only delayed for 10 minutes! Big deal ok! Big deal!

Dinner went smoothly, food was great and I got acquainted with more people. I'm beginning to love weddings even more for that fact.

Ended my Friday passed midnight and due to standing on a 4-inch heels most of the time, 2 of my toes on the left foot is numb till this very moment. I hope it will be back to normal by this weekend cause the wedding is to be continued in KL! Yeah!

Saturday, I missed Aidah's wedding. Went to Lihah's house warming instead. Spent a few hours there and caught up with Yani for a bit.

Lihah's place was where I had too much eclairs and still had to eat Nasi Rawan despite that. I ended up being so high on food!

Gave Natalia's birthday chalet a miss because I wanted to watch APM which I later regretted cause it was such a lame one this year.

Sunday, Mas and I decided to take Nat out for dinner since we both didn't make it to her chalet. The 3 of us spent the evening together with lots of laughters and (again!) great food of course!

Today, I weighed myself and as clearly as the title states, I've gained weight! Aaargh!

2009-07-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

PC-LESS

On the wee hours of last Tuesday, I had problems with the Internet. Called Starhub and we did the troubleshoot via phone. Well, actually it was one of the rugrats that took the call. Anyway, despite that 30 minutes 'conversation', we still had problems connecting so the lady concluded that there were problems with our modem.

So, there were no facebooking or blog-reading sessions on Tuesday and I could not send the modem then because I didn't have Kak Chik's IC. Our max-online is under her name just so you know.

Wednesday, I went to my sister's place after an interview just to use the internet.

Thursday, I wanted to send the modem to the service centre but cancelled cause I intended to go to Chana's place to accompany her but that was also cancelled. Thursday was spent napping and staring at the walls.

You have no idea how bored and cranky I was and it was all because I had no access to the internet. I could not even access it via my handphone!

Friday night, I saw one of the rugrats using his laptop. Boy, I was delighted but guess what?! I still could not access the internet from the PC!!! I hate using laptops! I then told my brother-in-law, the expert of the IT world and he said he forgot to connect the cable. Obviously I quickly connected the cable but still, NO ACCESS!!!

Saturday, I woke up late and went to Lihah's place so I was kindda distracted and only checked my hotmail from the laptop.

Today, there was a mini celebration for Aisyah's 16th birthday. Everyone was around including my cousin's husband. They finally got it fixed and the problem was due to the IP address. That means, I'm back to facing the PC almost the whole time when I'm awake or at home.

Here's a thought, can you imagine life without the internet, handphones and televisions?

I don't think any of us can take it. This experience made me realised how addicted we are to such luxuries. It's not something bad but it's not something to be proud of either...

2009-07-13T15:54:00.010+08:00

Details Of Our Red Night

Okay, as lazy as I am, I still wanna blog about Elis' hen's night. Here goes:

We asked her to come up with what kind of a night she wanted and the colour theme. Initially she wanted Fuchsia but obviously it was changed to Red subsequently. It was supposed to be exactly 3 months before her wedding but I have a wedding in KL so we brought it forward.

As to why we made it so early was because her wedding happens to fall right after Syawal and it is just right for her to be alcohol free prior to her wedding.

Since her name sounds like Alice, instead of making it in wonderland, we decided it to be in Dreamland. We were clad in pyjamas upon her arrival to make her think it was a slumber party (which she did!) and wanted it to look like as if she was sleep walking, we bought her a nightie and changed her into it. She had no idea at all that we were gonna take her out for dinner. She was already helping herself to sandwiches and noodles that were brought from our homes.

About 2 hours after her arrival, she was escorted out from the room while being blindfolded of course! She was walking in that manner from the hotel to Balcony - where we had our dinner.

While dining, she had to do a dare and that was to take a picture with a stranger. She decided to drag that outside the restaurant and chose a shocked chinese guy who was checking us out (not shy!) to be that lucky stranger.

Picture above was taken when she tried to escape from yet another dare. It was unsuccessful though. She had to shout 'I'm getting married' and the final dare was to ask a guy if he thought she was sexy or not. She asked a bellboy who happened to be another shocked guy and replied 'sexy jugak' (read: quite sexy) coyly. He was also the one that took the picture of us below.

When we were back in our room, we became whores of the camera right before we switched to Las Vegas mode. We became the gambling queens!

I love the picture above and I'm really excited about her wedding. I'm thinking of her wedding more than mine!

To those that wonder why there were only 4 of us that night. Here's why. 2 of them had family emergencies. Nevertheless, Aizah contributed sincerely for the event.

2009-07-06T11:59:00.005+08:00

Ellis In ~~Wonderland~~ Dreamland

Our first hen's night was a success despite some last minute cancellations and changes here and there. Though the hen herself was cranky in the beginning, the 4 of us had a great weekend.

Great quality time I would say!

2009-06-30T20:44:00.002+08:00

If You Have A Limited Time

What would you do if you go to the clinic for a random check up and the doctor tells you that you've got a chronic disease and that you will die in 6 months or so?

How will you feel? How will you react? I guess we will only know when we're in such circumstances. Touch wood though (selisih!)!

Hypothetically if it's me, maybe I would freak out and hide it from everyone in the beginning because I hate it when people starts to fuss unnecessarily. The constant 'how are you', 'are you feeling better' etc will irritate me definitely.

(That's why I hate it when people ask if I have gone to any interviews of late. Don't ask, I'll tell you if I am going to one!!!)

I was watching TV last night and 3 of them had people dying unexpectedly and the fact that our healths are very unpredictable these days is really a scary thought! All the weird flu(s) are all so scary!

I'm scared of dying. I hate the idea of not being able to see my friends and families anymore. I hate the idea of not being able to irritate or put a smile on their faces at times. Basically, I'm not ready to die! I'm not able to control my fate, I know that but I'm able to make people around me to remember me the way I want. I want people to remember my smiles, laughters and joys I bring to them.

If you have a choice, would you rather know when is your last day on earth or would you rather want it to remain anonymous?

Hmmm...Tough one!

2009-06-29T14:31:00.001+08:00

It Will Be Our First

For the past 2-3 years or so, usually during this time of the year, we (the girls) would be exchanging emails arranging our Annual Dinner. This time round, it's something different and we exclude one of us from the circulation.

We have been planning for our Mak Nenek's hen's night! Yes! A hen's night and it's our first. Radia, Irin and I met up earlier this month to discuss and the itinerary had been emailed last week! We are excited about it and it's coming real soon!

So Mak Nenek, do you think you will be having sweet dreams or nightmares and do you wonder why this entry is in red? That's because as requested by you, red is part of the theme!

*evil grin*

2009-06-25T15:25:00.002+08:00

I Need To Rant A Little

As you all know that I'm not working (again). It's been more than a month and I'm seriously not liking it. I feel like I'm wasting my time and feel really useless sometimes. Sometimes not all the time!

It's funny when I mention to some people about being jobless, they'll start to give that certain look and make it sound as if that I'm a habitual job-hopper. Let me make things clear this once. DP Design Pte Ltd was my first real job and I was in that company for almost 4 years. I was jobless for 6 months and joined the last company last November. I was there for 6 months. So please, do not judge me as a job hopper people because I am NOT one and even if I am one, that is my own business! It's not as if you are providing for me!

OK, that's not my purpose of this entry. The purpose of this entry is to rant what's been troubling me.

When I was jobless the last time, I was enjoying it. Even though I was always broke, I was almost carefree and didn't think much. Honestly, I didn't even bother flipping the classified pages till 4 months later. Even then, I wasn't looking diligently.

This time round, I'm really hating it! I don't like it at all! Probably because the last time, I went on 2 holidays and Aid wasn't this busy or probably because then, the wedding plans weren't in our minds yet. Even if it was, there wasn't any fixed dates yet.

Now that there is already a date and we have less than a year to walk towards that, I'm beginning to feel the pressure slow..ly. I'm not totally stressed or pressured but when each new month comes my way, I'd be counting down to the wedding date and that's when I'd feel the pressure.

Me being me, I'm paranoid over almost everything and I think too much and too far ahead! It doesn't help when no one understands. I try to keep things to myself but I can foresee myself going crazy if I do so. I don't see the point in confiding because it's really hard to explain and that will only cause misinterpretations which may lead to a few other arguments. Enough arguments already! Thank GOD I have this space to rant and express my inner feelings.

Even so, I don't feel like elaborating now because it hurts somehow.

P.S Stalker, where have you been? Maybe you'd understand...

2009-06-05T18:55:00.003+08:00

Do Singaporeans Dress Badly?

Do we? I personally think we don't. Maybe we used to but decades ago. It's obvious that our dressing senses have improved tremendously and that us Singaporeans are more vain these days. We no longer see people parading in Cross Colour jeans or wearing super bright yellow jeans together with bright green shirt. It's all history now. Phew!

Walk outside St James, you no longer see clubbers walking out of the clubs in slippers/flip-flops. Instead, you will see most ladies in gorgeous dresses and their heels just get higher. The men, you might even spot some in coats. Of course after a few minutes in the club, the coats are either on the stools or 'hung' on individual's forearms. It's just too warm to be in suits all night long.

Another place to see all these well-dressed people is in the MRT during the peak hours. I love seeing those office workers dress up for work. On Fridays, especially, don't be surprised if you were to see the bling-blings and the bright coloured attires. It's always nice to see nice and colourful things isn't it? Afterall, when you look good, you feel good.

However, I do wonder if some Singaporeans are dressed inappropriately sometimes.

There was one hot morning when I took the train and I saw this girl, probably in her twenties. She was wearing a pair of jeans, paired it with a tank top, a jacket and she had a shawl around her neck. Did I mention it was a hot morning? I couldn't help but wondered was it just me who was feeling hot or it was indeed hot! I looked around and those around me were either wiping their sweats away or fanning themselves.

What was wrong with that girl? Was she unwell or was she a fashion victim who was sweating like hell but had to keep her cool anyway cause she wanted to be 'stylish'? Or was she just trying to hide the heat rashes around her neck? Hmmm...

Another thing that made me wonder would be those people wearing boots! What's up with the boots babe(s)? Aren't boots worn to keep our feet/legs warm? Isn't our weather warm enough? Warm is an understatement.

Unless you're wearing a safety boots, I don't think boots are suitable for our country.

Oh! What about people wearing their PJs out?

Thus far, I've only seen the older generations doing that to places like the market or to shops around the neighbourhood, I don't really have a problem with that because when that happens, it's either too early or too late and it's not that disturbing to see the older people that way. Do people my generation actually go out in PJs? I've yet to bump into them.

Would I go out in my PJs?

I would! Provided, I can mix and match it with my accessories. That's what fashion is all about afterall - mix and match! :)

Whoever said we can't look good in PJs? *wink*

2009-05-30T23:58:00.011+08:00

At Least More Than 5 Years Ago

They say 'friends are forever' but they never said, they'll be there forever. Through the years, I've learnt change is a permanent thing. That's something I'm still trying to absorb though. 'People come, people go' is really a sad truth!

We change our believes, our thoughts and even our tastes. In short, we change. Be it for the better or worse, that is a different story altogether.

Most times, I do wish that I have the power to stop time even if it's just for awhile because I appreciate what I have and wish nothing will change situations but that's definitely just a wishful thinking on my part. Sometimes change is necessary.

The people pictured above played a big part in my life once. Though some have drifted away and seem to be more of acquaintances than friends now, I'm still glad that we crossed paths. I really do! No regrets whatsoever. They were there for me and I still smile whenever I reminisce those moments we had.

I'm also glad for the fact that I have more that stayed than those that went and moved on with their lives. Don't get me wrong, we're still friends only that we are not as closed as before. People change remember?

However, no matter how much someone has changed. Some things still remain. For instance, I'm still loving my mineral water and I still love taking 'improper' pictures of myself! Of course, I've changed to digital camera too! *wink*

2009-05-28T00:00:00.006+08:00

74TH

I wish I'm at your door lighting the candles in discreet,

waking you up softly and whisper to you 'I can't sleep'

You'll shift your body with half-opened eyes,

and I'll tell you to open the door wide.

As always you'll do as I say,

only to realise it's your special day!

I wish I am singing to you right now,

instead of writing this with tears rolling down...

2009-05-27T16:48:00.007+08:00

When The Lazy Bum Is Not Motivated!

I've skipped gym for 2 weeks! I was supposed to go yesterday but I skipped it. I skipped today's session as well and if I skip tomorrow and Friday's session, that means I'll be skipping for 3 weeks!!!

I hate it when I'm being lazy and I hate it when I'm not motivated! Ziyad came over last Saturday and gave the girls a talk on health issues (of course he lectured me too!) for more than 2 hours. I was damn motivated then and even scheduled a session with him.

The next day, I met Aid and told him that I was feeling fat and bloated and that my butt is still 41" even after losing weight, he said I was being silly and he doesn't like women with small butt! *roll eyes*

The hot weather and the idea of travelling from my place to Raffles Place were the other 2 'unmotivational' factors!

How? How? How? I've been eating rice more frequent that usual ever since I became jobless again and I can feel everything growing bigger!

Maybe I should weigh myself and the digits would probably motivate me........not! I'm too confident of myself to feel fat and ugly! Darn!

2009-05-26T12:01:00.003+08:00

Cried

I miss my dad very much. How I wish he's around right now fussing over my wedding preparations like the rest of the family members.

I'm very sure that he'd be as excited as my mum!

If only..if only...I'll keep on wishing...

2009-05-21T19:34:00.005+08:00

The 8th American Idol

I could not sleep till 5am this morning but still forced myself to get up before 8am. Just to watch American Idol's Finale.

I think this year's season is the best. Best competitors with great artists performing. Fergie looked damn hot! B.E.P rocked as always.

Jason Mraz looked weird with the goatee I feel. Steve Martin played that instrument like a pro. Kara was good too and of course damn hot as always. In short, I enjoyed watching it just now and can't wait to watch the repeat later.

Funny that I kept saying I wanted Adam to win but just now I realised that if he were to do a concert here, I don't think I'd be keen to attend it. Maybe, I won't even bother to attend altogether. Hence, I concluded that I've been a fan of Kris' all along.

Can you imagine if Kris and Jason Mraz decide to have a collaboration with each other? That would be superb, definitely.

Now that I already know the winner, I am anticipating him coming here for a showcase. I'll definitely be amongst the first ones to book my tickets!

2009-05-20T20:37:00.005+08:00

My 2 Cravings

I got 2 of the things that I had been craving for last night.

One, was Aid. Yes! I was craving for him and we finally met after 3 weeks. It's funny after all these years, I still have butterflies in me whenever I meet him. That's a good sign right?

He seemed like a bad boy yesterday - it reminded me of our courtship period somehow. I love bad boys. Hence, I love him.

The other craving was, Gong-Gong. I got a plate of that all to myself. It was damn nice!

I got to stop yearning for the things I don't get. It's time to be thankful for the things I get in life instead. That shall me by mission from now...

2009-05-18T23:20:00.003+08:00

We Eat, We Laugh, We Fart, We Talk - We Shared!

It's been awhile since I looked forward to the after hours of a Friday. I used to look forward to Fridays when Aid and I used to spend time till the next morning but everything changed ever since he went to Perth and subsequently started working. And they say change is good...I beg to differ.

Last Friday was indeed a great quality time spent with 2 of my favourite girls. We were together till 8am the next morning.

Thanks lovelies, for the wonderful company - it was so much fun which ended in a 'scary' situation. Hahaha!

Sunday, I accompanied the petite teacher, Yani for an extreme make over. A makeover for her head. She had a hair cut and I was so tempted to cut mine too.

I'm not going through the best of times right now but they managed to put a smile to my weekend. This is the obvious reason why I will always try to be there for my friends because they have been there for me whenever I need them...

2009-05-13T14:17:00.001+08:00

GoodBye Idiots!

Since the day I tendered till Monday, I could not sleep. I had only 2-3 hours of sleep. I was so worried that they would give me a hard time before letting me go. You just got to expect the worst when it comes to that company.

First, my letter was passed around then they pretended as if nothing happened. When I asked for much earlier release, there were no news till Monday, after lunch. Mr Gentle (that idiotic that sent the 'threatening email) came to my bay and gave me a list of things that I needed to handover and told me if I could do so by the end of the day, I could leave. I was like, 'Hello, I definitely can't handover everything in half a day!'. I think he did it on purpose!

So I left office slightly later on Monday just so my last day could be Tuesday and I did it! I managed to handover everything and yesterday was indeed my last day! Yey!

It's such a relief and I managed to sleep well yesterday!

6 months in that company and there's nothing I'm gonna miss! Hah!

2009-05-10T23:59:00.001+08:00

An Entry For My Mother

My mum gave birth to me when she was 42. That was 12 years after the last time she had given birth to her 5th child. I am indeed an 'accidental' child or 'anak korek perut' as what she would say to relatives. In a joking manner of course.

According to her, when she had check ups, the gynaecologist convinced her that she was carrying a down syndrome baby and persuaded her to go for an abortion and told her that it would not be easy for her to take care of special kids at her age. As hard as he tried, he failed as Mak told him that whatever the baby's condition gonna be at birth, he/she would still be her child and promised to love the baby unconditionally and equally like the rest that she had given birth to.

November 1981, she gave birth to a girl and named her Rasheeqah after an Indian doctor if I am not wrong. She wasn't surprised that I turned out to be a healthy and normal baby cause she had always had faith in GOD and was prepared to face however I would turn out to be.

I was obviously pampered and was loved wholeheartedly by every single one of the family members. I don't really remember my toddler years. Even if I do, it's just bits and pieces here and there. What I do remember is that during my kindergarten days, more often than not, I was always mistakened to be Mak's granddaughter for the obvious age gap and of course at that point of time, I didn't get it and often got angry and wondered what was wrong with those people. I got more curious when Mak played along with those strangers at times when she just didn't feel like going through the Q&A sessions probably.

During my primary school days, out of (unnecessary) embarrassments, I would tell my schoolmates that Mak was my aunt just to avoid questions like 'how come your mum so old' or anything similar to that. I blame it on peer pressure!

Then there was a time when Mak was in my school bus and due to a miscommunication, I told her that she had to get down and walked up to the hill on her 2 feet. Up to this day, I still feel bad about that incident:(

As I grew older, I was able to accept the fact that my mother is much older than everyone else's and when asked, I proudly said that my mum got me when she was 42. It is a big deal cause I'm normal with no complications at all and after my late dad left us, she put me through school on her own. Of course the siblings helped financially for the household but she was the sole breadwinner for me..

After 39 years of marriage, Abah left her with a 17 year-old daughter at hand and that daughter was not really an obedient one. She was at the stage where she was figuring herself out so it was definitely a big challenge and responsibility for Mak but nothing was too big for her as she is one hell of a strong woman. You will never see her give up and she doesn't even complain. I hope to be like her in future.

When I was 18, I broke up with that so-called first love. She was there for me physically and emotionally and we both hated that guy together. She said to me the disappointment she had on that person was double as what I felt as she had given that person trust and respect but it all went to waste. Through the years, she was very supportive with whoever I befriended and even when she was not so in favour towards some, she would still be nice to that person for my sake.

Then I met another guy and our relationship lasted for almost 2 years. A break up with that guy is (he is still a nightmare!) my greatest nightmare in my whole life! He behaved like a psychopath, manipulated so many people. He almost succeeded in doing the same to Mak. He told her that I was going out with a few foreigners and I was a loose woman. Of course she was affected upon hearing all those things at first but after I explained, she was on my side. Trust me, it was not easy for her because the things that psycho told her was too much! Way too much! I almost reported him for harassment but didn't because Mak told me not too.

It didn't help that the rumour came when I was in my 'wild' days when I started to frequent the clubs a lot. I would get home in the wee hours all the time and ignored her when she asked where did I go. I ignored her pleas without any sympathy. I ignored her calls without any explanations. I could see the disappointment in her eyes but I didn't give a hoot and continued my wild ways. Never once, she told me to get out of her sight. She had never given up on me (till now) no matter how much I upset her.

For that reason, I promised myself that no matter how open-minded or liberal or wild I am, I will never forget my roots as a Muslim and that I will never ever do drugs. Alhamdulillah, till now, I have not tried a single kind of drugs. Call me a coward but I don't want to risk of getting caught after just a try and tarnish my family's name!

I also promised myself that no matter how broke I am, I will always give her cash monthly and try my best to help her financially and when I'm married, I will tell my husband the same thing - never ever stop giving money to his mum cause when we were young, our parents never failed to support us financially whenever we needed cash be it for a need or a want.

Despite having heard bad things about Aid (from the psychopathic ex-boyfriend), Mak was (and still is) very supportive of us. When we broke up, she tried ways and means to convince me that he's the one for me. When I told her that his side was coming over to ask for my hand, she planned what to cook for them on the very same day which was months before the actual day!

Amazingly, she did all the cooking herself on our engagement day and was still smiling throughout the ceremony. I think she was the happiest person that day. She is also the most excited person anticipating our wedding.

Seriously, if anything untoward happens, I do not know how to break the news to her cause I know, it will be a great blow to her. She's been cooping herself in her room doing some things (which she wants to keep in discreet) for the wedding and she's really thankful to have future-in-laws who are good natured.

The initial plan to celebrate today was together with Aid and his mum but since the engaged couple are still on cold war, the plan was aborted automatically. It's a good thing though as all her children (except for the one in Melbourne) were dining here just now.

Since dinner at Tambuah Mas was cancelled, I bought her gifts to make up for it which I was sure she would love it and she does love it!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO MY MAK who still feeds me when I asked her to, prepares my breakfast, packed lunch every single day which this ungrateful daughter never bothered to thank but instead she complains when lunch is nothing special. Seriously, if I am Mak, I would have stopped packing lunch for me long time ago!

Again, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY AND I LOVE YOU! Thank you, for making me, me.

2009-05-07T23:00:00.002+08:00

The Bad News And The Good News

This morning, a lady by the name of Amy called to say that she's really keen in employing me. She asked if I could start work next week. She got bummed up when I told her that I need at least a month and a half of notice. That's the bad news!

The good news is that the management releasing me earlier as requested. Instead of 3 months notice, I only need to serve 3 weeks. At the moment, my last day is on the 20th of this month. That's definitely good news! However, I asked for an even earlier release. They can only revert back to me by tomorrow morning after an admin meeting. Such a big hoo-haa!

This is a big risk but I feel that it's the right move. I've already turned down 2 offers (the other one being ERA) and I can't afford to turn down another offer. It feels so wasted!

I'm quite confident that they will release me next Friday and tomorrow, I'll be calling Amy. Hope everything goes well from there. If it doesn't, I'll keep on trying...:)

2009-05-06T23:15:00.004+08:00

Today's Horoscope

'A disruption to your career progress has its positive side. You can use the lull to take care of recent problems and fix them for the better. This will be very advantageous to you so get started at clearing up these issues.'

I hope the disruption won't be that long because most issues that need to be fixed will be involving lots of money!

2009-05-05T12:49:00.003+08:00

Can't Wait To Leave

I'm on my 3-days work week again. I'm 'sick' today. Another morning of feeling lazy so I went back to sleep after work. This feeling is crazy - I really can't wait to leave this work place. Like I said, I'm having the feeling of what I had during my last month in DP.

Anyway, my resignation letter has been passed around. It's now with the in-charge of Admin. I'm just so afraid of it being misplaced. He didn't say anything to me yesterday. Was expecting a call to the boss' room but it didn't happen. We'll see how it goes tomorrow.

I should stop here cause I seriously need to start doing something to my room. I've thrown a lot of things but it's still cluttered.

P.S I seriously need a break from Singapore. Too many things on my mind. It's crazy and I can't focus and even be calm!

2009-05-04T16:41:00.006+08:00

What Happens If I Take Too Much Sleep?

Everything should be done in moderation, as what we normally hear. Too much of something may be detrimental just as much as lack of something may also be dangerous. The same goes with sleeping. Studies show that, on the average, the optimal and ideal number of hours an adult should take is about seven to eight hours of quality sleep. However, there are times when we tend to keep ourselves under the comforts of our bed sheets even after the alarm has gone off, and even after eight hours of sleep. What really happens when we take too much sleep?

Taking too much sleep damages your circadian rhythm. The circadian rhythm is controlled by a part of the brain (that is in the central area or region) that functions as your 24 hour ‘clock'. This clock, somehow commands the body when we are sleepy by changing the temperature of our body. We feel sleepy when the temperature of our body is lowered. On the other hand, when the body temperature is raised, we feel awake and alert.

In addition, the longer your sleep (that is again, over and above the amount you require for daily functioning), the more the quality of your sleep deteriorates. Individuals who, time and again, sleep ten to twelve hours a night (or even more) actually find it harder to get sleep. Furthermore, they wake more frequently and worse, they feel less rested when they wake up in the morning. It is unfortunate though because this feeling starts a series where you feel more tired and you think more sleep is needed to solve the problem and adjust to the situation. This is actually what they call sleep inertia - grogginess, fatigue, and the inability to "wake up" due to excessive sleep.

When we talk of too much sleep, we do not only consider here the sleep we take in the night time. Oversleeping may occur also during naps. Have you ever taken a nap and awoken more tired than when you fell asleep? For many, if taking a nap takes more than 15 minutes, their body thinks it is night time. Their body may then lapse into a deeper sleep, and it will be harder for them to wake up. This is what we call sleep inertia. Longer naps affect your circadian rhythm and it will definitely make it harder for you to sleep when you should sleep or wake when you should wake.

Experts say that if a person spends too long a time in bed, then they'll spend a higher percentage of time being awake. Furthermore, there could be medical reasons and causes for a person to engage in too much sleep. Alternatively, experts suggest that there may be a link between long sleeping and depression, noting that people who are depressed often temporarily feel better after skipping a night of sleep. Nevertheless, it is suggested that you seek medical attention whenever you feel any of the symptoms mentioned here.

By Gerrardmackenzie

2009-05-02T21:22:00.008+08:00

His FUCKING Sleeping Habit!!

If you're a stranger and have been following every entry of mine, I'm sure sometimes you must have had judged me as being the domineering one in my relationship with Aid. I don't blame you cause I air most of my dirty laundries openly and I hardly bitch about him.

When I was seeing another guy, though I didn't blog about him openly, I'm sure some of you would have guessed it. I'm sure I gave some of you a topic to gossip about when I posted an album of my first experience at the air show.

Aid is an amazing guy. He may not be the most good looking guy on earth but he has what I want in a guy. Having said that, he also has a particular bad habit which I detest so fucking much! He loves to sleep and when he sleeps, he sleeps like a dead pig! Be it his night shift, morning shift or even on his off days! He sleeps too much!

I'm fine if it doesn't affect me but seriously, it does! BIG TIME! For more than 5 fucking years, I've been tolerating him sleeping on me. He stood me up on dates! He stood me up after making me wait! He stood me up in so many other occasions!

Let's not get into details of the past incidentS. Let me rant about a recent incident. As recent as today! I've got a wedding invite today which I really was looking forward to go to. I have not seen the bride for more than 10 years. It's bad enough that he did not revert to me about his attendance despite telling him that I needed to RSVP. Due to that, I just said 'yes' on his behalf. He had the cheek to ask what time did I want to go the wedding today. When I told him, it's between 1-5pm, he asked confidently what time did I want him to wake up. Honestly, I didn't feel like replying that text but I did anyways and my reply was '1pm'.

It was 1pm and there wasn't any calls from him. I showered half an hour later and started calling him up at 2pm. Time now is 10pm, and i still have not heard from him. He's not dead definitely cause he's at home sleeping and no one dares to knock down the door when the pig is sleeping!

THIS IS THE MAIN REASON WHY WE BROKE UP SO MANY TIMES AND I ENDED UP BEING CLOSE TO SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE I SIMPLY COULD NOT STAND HIS IGNORANCE! HIS NEGLIGENCE AND TAKING THIS RELATIONSHIP FOR GRANTED IS GETTING WAY TOO MUCH!!!!!!

Funny enough, sleep suddenly disappeared from his life and he became so spontaneous (again) when he was losing me!!!

THIS IS DEFINITELY TAKING ITS TOIL! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! I SERIOUSLY DO NOT KNOW HOW THIS IS GONNA BE OK AGAIN!

IF YOU THINK I AM BEING PETTY, TRY BEING STOOD UP FOR 5 FUCKING YEARS AND TELL ME IF I AM RIGHT IN FEELING THIS WAY!!!

If you think, that I should not be bitching about my (so-called) fiance like this, fuck it!!! I just gotta let it out my chest. If I were to tell my gfs, they are too immune to hearing this and all they will do is to just laugh it off or say 'be patient' bla bla bla! It's no longer a laughing matter. In fact, it HAS NEVER BEEN FUNNY and I've been patient enough haven't I?

p.s Excuse the grammar/vocabulary error if any. I just can't be bothered to proof read this entry. It will only produce more angst!

2009-05-01T20:44:00.003+08:00

Labour Day

I just found out that today's holiday is world wide. Heh!

How I wish I'm at a resort right now - having a full body massage by the sea with manicured nails while snacking on Banana pancakes with different toppings. Wishful thinking cause I'm stuck in a cluttered house on this long weekend and I'll be stuck till GOD knows when!

How do I celebrate my (Labour) day this year? I celebrated it a day earlier by submitting my resignation letter to the HR.

Crazy! Risky! I've heard it all but I just got to do what I (still) feel is right. Most think I should not tender since I need the cash for the wedding but I believe in fate - if it's meant to be, it'll be. All of my ex-colleagues are not getting their April's pay cheque indefinitely.

That's bad isn't it? You still have to pay for transportations and daily meals and not get paid at the end of the month. Let's not start with the rentals and other bills.

My point is, even if you have a job, that doesn't assure you that you will be paid at the end of the month due to the current crisis. I'm getting married with the sincerest intentions. I believe ALLAH will help me to go through that. I have strong faith on that. INSYALLAH!

2009-04-29T08:00:00.004+08:00

Just Don't Feel Like It

Time now is exactly 8am. I'm all ready. Showered with make up on my face. All I have to do is to put on my clothes and head out to work.

However, I just informed my HR to tell her that I'll be taking the day off. Don't blame me, I'm just following my heart and I am feeling so disgusted just by thinking of the office but if you really need to blame someone, blame Aid cause when I told him what I just mentioned, he told me indirectly that I should just continue my sleep. Heh!

Tomorrow is the last day of April and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. For now, I shall just continue my sleep...

2009-04-27T21:50:00.003+08:00

The Unofficial Job Scope

My position at this new place is 'Secretary'. I am to assist the team's work and of course the boss' as well. At times, I would have to arrange for their flights too. The problem is, this is a local company and thus far, I've only arranged for 3 or 4 trips.

My administrative duties are very minimal. Too minimal! Most times, I will have to drag my work just so I have something to do till the end of the day.

Those mentioned above are my official job scope.

I do feel that facebook-ing and msn-ing daily are part of my scope of work as well. An unofficial one perhaps. Sounds perfect? It's not! Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts that it doesn't feel as good as it sounds. Yes I can surf the net but imagine surfing in discreet for hours. That is not enjoyable at all. Yes I can msn openly but still, if the higher ranking human beings see me on it each time they pass by my table, that can be quite awkward.

I'm tired of acting busy, trying to look for things to do. To be honest, I really do not know why they need 2 secretaries in the office. What I do in this new place is 1/8 of what I used to do in DP.

There's a lot of other negative issues going on in the office. For now, I'm just hoping for something better. I can't go on like this - it's really disturbing.

2009-04-25T23:45:00.003+08:00

A ~~Couch~~ Bed Potato

I woke up early today, showered and had breakfast while watching Friends. Everything was done in my room. More than 12 hours later, I'm still watching Friends.

The intervals I had were going to the toilet, told Bibik to prepare me lunch and taking a nap.

This is indeed the best way to entertain myself (with no money involved) while Aid is on the suckiest shift!

Whoever said we don't need friends (pun intended of course) to be happy!

Oh! On a different note, I am so yearning for rain or wind at least!

2009-04-21T12:20:00.007+08:00

Time Off!

While I was still tossing and turning on my bed this morning, I heard a thunder. Less than 5 seconds later, it was pouring heavily. Very heavily. It was as if someone had turned on the tap on full blast. That made me contemplated a visit to the doctor's. I headed to the toilet instead.

Went out the house slightly later than usual. Had my most unglamourous moment in the train - I slept and did my 'head-banging' (it's been awhile) throughout my journey. The moment I got up, I felt giddy and while walking towards the office, my stomach felt funny. The moment I sat on my seat, I was in cold sweat.

Coincidentally, Aid is not working today so tadah! I'm at home right now blogging and suddenly, the giddiness, funny stomach feeling and cold sweat are all history now. Muahahahaha!

I didn't lie about feeling unwell, I am unwell but it's not that much anymore. I think I am stressed up subconsciously - for an apparent reason and I'm trying to do things at a time now but everything seems to be on my mind all at once.

For a start, I really need to do something to the never-ending mess in my room. Below is a picture of my room on normal days. *deep breath*

2009-04-19T15:38:00.009+08:00

My First Make-Up Set

When I was a kid, I got so excited each time I had a tarian (malay dance) performance because that was when I got to be all made up with blue eye shadows and red lipstick. That was probably the reason why I continued being in a dance group in primary school.

Staying back and going back to school to practice was never draggy cause I know that I would be performing while looking pretty to the crowd. Getting remarks like 'Wah! Rasheeqah, you look so pretty!' made me all smiley! Hey, who doesn't like praises right? On second thought, I don't really like praises at this age maybe because now I can tell the difference between a fake and an honest one. Oh! Let's not digress here.

Back to looking pretty, I wasn't allowed to wear make up during my primary school days. Not even lipstick but somehow, I ended up having a few lipsticks in my drawer. Hehehe!

At 12, I was so envious of my friends whenever I saw them openly applied lipsticks in front of their mothers. I then tried to convince my mum that I was old enough to have at least lipstick on my face. I failed!

Then, there was once at a relative's wedding, I was made up by one of the older relatives. I was the happiest girl! It was full make up and there wasn't any performances and best of all, Mum didn't frown upon seeing me. I pushed my luck and made myself up the next day with my sister's make up. If I remember it correctly, it was Elizabeth Arden. I felt like a grown up in that room - all locked and helped myself with the make up BUT when it was time to leave the room, I was so scared to open the door! Hahaha! I locked myself up for so long till Mum told me that she knew I had make up on and told me that I didn't have to be afraid. To my surprise, she wasn't angry at all! So there I was feeling like the prettiest girl in the world - having able to have full make up on for 2 consecutive days!

What made me blog about this? Nothing much really. It's just that I just threw away my very first make-up set bought by my sister for my 16th birthday. I was so damn thrilled upon getting that. I refused to throw it away though it was all mouldy but I did it anyway - just a few days ago...*wink*

Ironically, I somehow wish that I hadn't started at all cause I spend a lot of money on make up! At the same time, I enjoy putting colours on my face! Hehehe!

2009-04-12T00:55:00.012+08:00

Wishing For A Money Tree

Alhamdulillah, the wedding preparations are going smoothly (bizarrely, the said fact is making me paranoid! Arrrgh!). Those that I had planned to engage for my wedding, have got slots available for me. I'm left with finding the perfect video man and deciding if I'm taking a deejay or a traditional band. Most likely will be the latter.

Aid and I went to Jentayu's exhibition on Friday and I've booked them. The owner, Kak Mel is such a sweet lady. If you have no clue what Jentayu is, it's a company that does the decorations for events and I would like to add that they are very detailed. I am experiencing 'love at first sight' with Jentayu.

I was very relieved after booking them - it's another name striked off from the list. Oh! Perfect Frosting's cakes are so nice looking and they taste good too. We got to try it at the exhibition.

INSYALLAH, our wedding will take place in less than a year (my heart thumping faster than usual as I'm typing these words) and I did some calculations before I went to bed on the same Friday. I ended up not being able to sleep. Hahahaha! All I could think about was money and more money! Thinking of some ways of how can I have more money.

In the meantime, I'm just hoping to stumble upon a bag full of dollars or at least a money tree that produces real money...

2009-04-09T23:59:00.005+08:00

It Would Have Been Phuket This Weekend

I had applied my leave in early March even though it had not been confirmed. Even though the supposed travel mate was sceptical in going for a holiday just us two, I applied anyway because I was very determined and was hoping that she would change her mind but one thing led to another and she had to go Melbourne for some registrations.

Oh well! Oh well! Things happen for a reason - Tsunami might be happening sooner than predicted (27 July 2009!) or mishaps might happen to me as there were a lot of paranoia issues being brought up!

Of course I am disappointed and bitter about the cancellation as I really need a holiday (KL is not considered as a holiday because it was too short and KL is so similar to Singapore!) and it's supposed to be a mega celebration for our 10th year together which was planned about a year ago.

A friendship that has no arguments at all in 10 years is a BIG DEAL and something to be proud of BIG TIME. I am sulking and I am damn petty when it comes to such things!

However, something led me to take out a picture of us that was taken 10 years ago. One of our first few dates at Marina Square after a school event - our first Polaroid taken in an awkward situation. Why awkard? You'll find out in the next paragraph.

If only I have a scanner at home, you readers would be able to see just how 'unglamourous' we looked 10 years ago with a huge crocodile on our laps and on top of the said crocodile, there was another reptile which I think was an iguana. She is quite an animal person but I hate animals and having made to hold the mouth end was so scary! It took us awhile to take just one shot.

Another picture that I took out and then showed around to my mum and Bibik was another Polaroid taken at Sentosa with a fat cobra this time. Again, if only I have a scanner, you people would be able to see the drastic changes in us - be it the amount of make up applied or the amount of kilograms we had put on along the years. Not forgetting our likings in bright colours as well.

As upset as I am, I still wanna wish us a HAPPY TEN YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP!

P.S I still have that magazine holder you gave me...in case you can't remember which one, it's the one made of cardboard and which you won from some games. You gave it to me cause you didn't wanna carry it home. Heh!

2009-04-05T18:59:00.005+08:00

Overspent!

Last night before I went to sleep. I was calculating on my expenditure for the past 3 months. To my surprise, the average amount I spent on bills plus what I give to Mum is about $900.00! That is almost half the amount of what I bring back each month! To add to the list, I will have my gym fees to pay. Nice!

On top of that, I spend about $150 at Watsons every month in average. However, this month I spent waaay more than that. Blame it on my vanity!

As all of you can see (bitch about it even sometimes), I have really bad eye bags. Nobody is perfect and I've come to terms with that flaw of mine. Really, I have as mine is genetic so whatever I apply is of no use. All my siblings have it. Even when my sister bought me some pills which apparently will lighten it, I could not be bothered to consume it cause as mentioned, I've accepted me as what I am. I love me!

On second thought, I was thinking since I'm getting married soon (INSYALLAH) why not I try to do something about it. Not that Aid minds but it's just my vanity and the urge of wanting to look better for the husband and afterall, I don't wanna scare the in-laws when I sleep over at his place. Hahaha!

Kakak and Mak Nenek told me to do something about those panda eyes - go for treatment or buy the most expensive eye cream that is available. Kakak made a point when she told me mine is definitely not 100% genetic. It's genetic + late nights + aging. It made sense so I asked around and Myra suggested I try Chanel's. Went to its counter in KL and the whole set costs almost RM500.00!

Still, I was bent on purchasing the set in Singapore. I changed my mind after visiting its counter in Tampines Mall simply because the salesperson was not convincing at all! She sounded as sceptical as I was.

After a few considerations, I settled for Bio Essence. Apparently their products are almost as good as SK's so thanks to the below pictured set, I overspent in Watsons!

We shall see if they do wonders or not. In the meantime, take a look at the picture below. I think vanity runs in the family.

He refused to throw the patches cause he wanted to use it again the following day! Hahaha!

Other reasons would be the recent KL trips and...my bimboticness. I overpaid my handphone bills. I paid $250 when the outstanding bill was less than $100! Grrr!

I'm really broke right now! Damn broken! Broken into pieces and I might need to pay for my wedding decorations next week!

Aaargh!

2009-04-03T13:11:00.005+08:00

Damaged Done So What Now?

Breaking up from a relationship is really hurtful. Finding out there's a 3rd party is worse BUT being dumped by a friend of many years is more hurtful than that! To realise that you're dumped because of a new beau just gives you an indescribable feeling - in a bad way!

The words that have been ringing in my head for the past months are 'am I that worthless?.

I'm still deciding if a confrontation is necessary cause like I've mentioned, I don't wanna have anything to do with this person anymore. Damaged done and it's time to go with the flow as adviced by the 2 lovelies.

Of course I'm affected. I am hurt I admit and I wish this is not happening but as the saying goes 'no point making someone a priority if you're just a choice in their life'.

Is it still necessary?

2009-04-01T23:20:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Yesterday, I had Macdonalds for dinner. Dinner was at about 8pm.

I got home and and realised Mum had cooked Sambal Mussels. She fed me supper and that was at about 930pm.

Yes! I had 2 meals in barely 2 hours! I was really full!

Today, I had eggs for breakfast and half way through breakfast, I remembered that I had to weigh myself and my current weight is 61.3kg!

Tomorrow, I will be going to Fitness First to settle some paper works and trust me on this - I will definitely lose weight or at least inches in a month's time.

Trust me on this! This is not an April Fool's joke. Heh!

2009-03-30T16:23:00.003+08:00

Eat All I Can, I Shall!

It's 2 days to April (super fast isn't it?!) and I've decided to eat as much junks as possible and weigh myself on the last day of March. Scary thought as my weighing scale gonna show digits that I dread but I'm gonna do that anyhow.

Come April, I will be on a 'diet' plan (read: my own way of diet - a healthy one of course!) and will be starting my gym regime again. After 1 year break so be ready guys for I will be complaining about the aching muscles.

Do look out for my next entry. I will be sharing my weight and how much I plan to lose by certain timings. I might also include the exact inches.

I shall go get Kit Kat Chunky and Toblerones after work later! Wehooo!

2009-03-28T13:01:00.002+08:00

And I'm Still Missing...

It's been a year since I left DP. If I'm not wrong, my last day was 25 March 2008. Sigh! I so miss the old environment - still! Miss the great colleagues, the food court, the atmosphere, the sense of belonging in that office and many more.

Can't blame me for feeling like this still cause I spent almost 4 years there. It was all great experiences. Why did I leave you may ask? Well, I don't miss the work load there - I miss the people. The kind of bond we shared was nothing like usually shared amongst colleagues. It was more of a friendship.

My new place? Let's not talk about it for now. I'll blog about it soon.

Funny that those that have moved on from DP are missing DP too. Christine and I are always reminiscing our years there and bitching about our current offices via MSN almost everyday.

We've planned for a dinner. I just hope it'll happen soon. It'll be nice...:)

I feel like posting some pictures during my DP journey so here they are:

So there! My last few days with the company and my last recreation with them. Had wanted to put more but looking at the pictures are upsetting me more.

I shall choose some pictures and put them in facebook.

I so miss them! :(

2009-03-24T19:02:00.016+08:00

Our First Trip After 15 Years

So I just came back from KL. Went there on Friday night and reached our Lion City at about 330am. As if being broke wasn't bad enough, I forgot the pin number to my credit card. Shit happens!

However, I'm lucky that I was travelling with those 2 lovelies - we pretty much shared everything. Groceries, meals even buying personal items, we shared! Of course they paid the most and I would sign whenever I could.

A few changes in KL since the last time I was there. Almost all clubs do not sell jugs anymore. If there is, it would only be Long Island Tea selling at RM80 per jug. Expensive! Might as well buy a bottle for almost RM400 and bring the bottle back which also includes 4 entries.

Bukit Bintang was filled with lots of people lepaking as early as 4pm. It looked as if there was a gig going on but nope they were just 'chilling'.

We didn't do much shopping but we did a lot of eating. We felt hungry almost every hour and the only problem I had was being constipated! It was so uncomfortable and due to that, my head ached. Yes! When the shits refuse to get out from the ass, it goes up to my head. That headache led to tension migraine and resulted in 2 days of MC. Not complaining though!

Back to KL, the purpose of going there was to clear our minds as one of us was having some relationship complications (more of fickle mindedness actually) and to just get out of the country just us before one of us ties the knot (or maybe 2 or it could even be all 3 of us!).

3 days there and I realised that we're really getting old and that clubbing doesn't give us that kick we used to get anymore, Maybe it still does but we're just too old to have that same energy to be clubbing 2 nights straight.

First night, we felt sleepy after barely an hour in the club. It's not as if the club was bad. It was a nice posh place - it's just us but of course we blamed it on the lack of sleep instead of age. The next day, we spent half the day sleeping (perhaps to conserve energy) but we still didn't really enjoy much in the club. For me and Zila at least. Nani was probably all hyped up cause our host for that night was someone in her favour *grin*.

Club antics for us are no longer dancing all night long till we sweat like we never did before or till the feet ache so bad. Now our moves in the clubs are mostly posing for the camera or just tilting our heads and laughing while we people watch.

Pictures below are the solid proofs!

The other thing that we really enjoyed besides eating was being in a 'Winter Room' where everything was made of ice and temperature was minus 5 degrees.

Last but not least I would like to thank the KL-ians for making time for us while we were there.

2009-03-18T17:00:00.004+08:00

Where Is The Professional Antics Here?

''Dear All,
We have been experiencing some bandwidth problem since last week. Internet was extremely slow. And today we were still experiencing it. Checking with with Singtel and our ISP, we found that it was our own internal problem.Me and Tuck Soon has tried everything we could. We checked the server and checked the connection from every PC, but to no avail. Mysteriously, the problem disappeared around 11am. We recall that this problem occurred twice before. It happened when someone was downloading a big chunk of data to his computer, such as movie or software. If you happened to do so, I am seriously WARNING YOU! "Please do not do it again". Our patient has a limit! Do you know how much damage you are doing to our company? If we manage to find the culprit, we promise you a severe punishment that you won't forget!And Please Switch off all unnecessary (not supposed to be left "on") electrical appliances before you go home.Including your everyday PC/computer. Even animals learn through mistakes!Don't make yourself worst than an animal!I may look gentle. But believe me, you don't want to see me when I am angry!
Endy
Admin''

If you think it can't get worse, read on to see what the boss had to reply:

'Dear Endy, the management endorses you 100%. and, we will find the culprit'

Seriously, where is the professional antics here?

2009-03-14T23:49:00.004+08:00

A Pampering Saturday

I accompanied Aqisha to a massage session last week. By 'accompanied' I mean I went for the whole session too of course! No one would be willing to flip the magazine pages for hours while her friend is being pampered in the room right?

When we were registering ourselves at the reception, the lady asked if we were sisters and she looked surprised when we said we came from different sets of parents altogether.

It's really weird. Aqisha has a sister (from the same parents that is) but I was always thought to be her younger sibling. Even to this day people think we're siblings. We're not complaining though - we often laugh it off and take it as a compliment.

do you think we look alike?

Back to that Saturday, it rained heavily the moment we finished our sessions and since we were both hungry we decided to settle for the coffee shop nearby the spa.

Went our separate ways after our meals to meet individual's partner with our super smooth skins - result of a scrub that consisted of salts, syrup and some other ingredients. We couldn't stop touching our hands and went on and on how smooth and shiny they were! Hahahaha!

As I was still in a pampering mood, I decided to put on a facial mask when I got home and as a result I felt oh-so-pretty till the next few days...

Tell me I'm pretty :)

2009-03-13T16:56:00.007+08:00

I Love Surprises!

I woke up yesterday feeling so grouchy. As always, the first thing I did was to text Aid but yesterday's wasn't the usual 'good morning' or anything sweet. It was these exact words: I hate my life! Aaargh!

To my surprise, he actually replied. It was his off day you see and he is THE Sleeping King. He replied with 'would it be a better one if I send you to work?'. That sentence alone put a smile on my face and put me from an angry mode (due the bad breakfast that Mum had actually prepared earlier and I still feel bad about this cause I didn't even eat the breakfast!) to a melted mode.

Of course I said yes to his offer. I got ready as usual and went down at 815am and he was still not there till 10 minutes later. I got angry again (I seriously need to go to an anger management course or something!). Gave him an angry text and refused to talk to him even when he complimented about my top. I cooled down after awhile though - while on the bike. The breeze manged to cool me down indeed! Heh!

Since this fussy, unappreciative and selfish bitch, refused to have breakfast at home, I got really hungry the moment he parked his bike. We walked to MacDonalds to buy my breakfast (again, I wasn't expecting him to agree when I asked if he would walk with me). Just when I was about to 'climb' that Mount Everest stairs leading to my office, he took out something from his seat's storage space and handed me a red.....ipod! Awwww....

I am not really into all this gadgets. I'm contented enough with my handphone. It has more than 60 songs in there -enough to fill my ears through my journeys.

Nevertheless, I am happy with his sweet gesture and the new gadget is in the colour I love and apparently you can only get that colour online.

He had even input some songs in there. How sweet!

That, definitely made my day - I was in a good mood the whole of yesterday and right now, as I am typing this entry the new pair of white earphones are in my ears.

For the record, I'm still having the butterflies in my stomach. That's what love is all about isn't it? Being in love is to fall in love with the same person again and again.

I love and I'm loved...:)

2009-03-11T12:42:00.008+08:00

The New Place

It's funny when I tell people that I am now working in Bugis, their next question would be 'Oh really, which shop?'.

That just shows how narrow-minded can some people be. Come on! Bugis is a big area. I can understand when you asked me that question when I said I was working in Marina Square cause the mentioned place is indeed a shopping centre itself but Bugis.....hmmm...

Anyways, the purpose of this entry is to start ~~complaining~~ writing about my new work place.

It's been almost 5 months now and I feel like quitting already. Maybe I am comparing this new environment to the previous one and it's totally different - almost the opposite.

From the management to colleagues to even the pantry.

Let's start with the boss. The way he runs the company is according to his mood. If he feels like talking to you, he'll talk if he doesn't he'll just ignore your morning greet! No, he didn't ignore mine but I witnessed that happened few weeks back.

His instructions are not so clear and he tells 2 persons to do the same thing! As a result, 1 simple thing was done twice by 2 different persons and it was a flight booking!

He is worst than a female boss! In other words, he is worst than Lydia, the person who is known for her unpredictability. Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!

As for colleagues, I can never find colleagues as good as DP-ians. Enough said!

Now we shall move on to why am I not liking this place (boss is not the reason!). I can handle difficult boss and I can also work under pressure and at times, I perform better under pressures. What I can't stand is being in an office for 8 hours or so and have almost nothing to do. Yes! Nothing! I can count the number of times I'm busy with just 1 hand.

Most of the times I will be busy with Facebook (which I am so addicted to currently!), msn and hoping from one blog to another.

Most of you must be yearning for my position right now but I'm not liking it! I don't get self-satisfaction, I don't learn much and I feel so over-paid!

I don't like it! I don't like it! I don't like it!

Need I stress on that sentence more?!

So please if you have any job openings, do give me a ring...

2009-03-04T11:26:00.005+08:00

It Was A Great Saturday With Great Companies!

Last Saturday was a memorable one. A good friend got married. What's really ironic is the fact that this friend of mine named Ain was from the same school as me and we were sort of like enemies in school. Not the kind of enemies that beat each other up but the kind where we hated each others' guts and probably talked like 5 times (or less) in that 4 years in Chai Chee Secondary School.

Let's not get into details as to why we were not on talking terms cause it's really over some silly issues. Heh!

Thanks to Friendster and Multiply, we came in contact again. Coincidentally the school decided to have a reunion which was crap by the way but after which we went for coffee with the rest - Lynn, Ayeesha, Nani and a few others. That was when we started to catch up on things in our lives.

Ain and I became MSN buddies right after and clicked right away. We even had 1 or 2 meeting sessions alone and phone calls here and there and yeah we definitely have great chemistry and think alike. Her imaginations are as weird as mine. Hahaha!

So anyways she got married to Remko (who happens to be a Malay in disguise - he loves most of our traditional food!) last Saturday and I am really glad that I was part of the whole event. Unfortunately I had to give their solemnisation ceremony a miss because Alyaa was leaving on that same night.

However, Nani and I dropped by her place right after Airport and she was telling us Remko went through it once. What's really sweet was he said all those vows in Malay. Apparently he had been practicing it for 3 months. I think that is really sweet. For the record, he does not speak Malay.

Unfortunately (AGAIN), i missed watching the groom 'bertandang' because.......Nani and I got into a minor accident on the way to the wedding. We both had great shocks though mine was a bit later than hers. Hehehe! If you had seen someone in Kebaya running around at the exit just before entering Tampines, that was me!

The reception was like a mini reunion of Chai-cheeans from different batches. It was nice seeing all of them again.

The bride and groom were clad in a pink Songket for that ceremony and they looked good in pink.

Went home and rushed to be ready on time for dinner. The venue of the dinner was really nice and I really had fun there. At the end of the night, Ain and I got emotional. We both had tears in our eyes. It was sweet babe and if only we were friends since school days. :)

Picture above was taken during their dinner ceremony. Dress was designed by the bride herself.

the bride with her maids

After dinner, we all went to Movida including the bride's maids. In their bride's maids dresses. Hahaha!

They left early though but I had my friends and Ziyad there. They made my Saturday even more perfect. It's been awhile since I had a perfect Saturday...

2009-02-21T14:54:00.005+08:00

Her Silent Cries

She smiles, she laughs, she thinks,

she's crying inside

She listens, she advices, she defends,

she's crying inside

She cares, she bothers, she lost,

she's crying inside

She decides to give up and put up a fake smile,

she's still crying inside

Does anyone know of her silent cries?

She continues her silence till the day she dies...

2009-02-20T11:33:00.002+08:00

Oh SleepyHead!

This whole week, I had difficulties waking up in the morning and due to that I have been late to work. Later than the usual timing! I really have punctuality problem which I am soooo not proud off! Aaargh!

So back to the waking up part, I've been waking up at almost 7am and leave the house at 820am. I start work at 830am and I don't believe in taking cabs to work. Hmmmm...

Now is almost noon and I am still feeling sleepy.

Zzzz......

2009-02-19T17:11:00.004+08:00

Downsizing

It seems like I'm blogging lesser and lesser these days.

Not that I'm lazy. Neither am I too occupied - just that I have so many things running through my head right now. Too many that it feels so damn chaotic in here as if there's a World War going on! Big Sigh!

Anyway on a totally different note, I've decided to downsize to a smaller wardrobe. I feel that, that is the only solution for me not to have many unused items. It's time for me to be able to see the floors in my room on regular basis cause currently the only time my room is in an 'acceptable' condition are on special occassions like Raya or when I'm expecting guests. Another Sigh!

I've uploaded some stuffs at www.closetclutters.blogspot.com so do check it out!

2009-02-12T12:40:00.003+08:00

What Goes Up Easily And Takes Time To Go Down?

WEIGHT!!!

I found the courage to weight myself yesterday morning and it showed 59.6. I wasn't happy but I was also relieved cause I hate being Miss Sixty.

I am trying to lose at least 5kg by June without playing cheat but I am already craving for Nasi Lemak for lunch and for your information, it's gonna be dinner at Tambuah Mas tonight.

Sigh!

2009-02-10T10:20:00.001+08:00

I Bet You'll Wonder

You are wondering aren't you?

2009-02-08T03:14:00.002+08:00

Sabotaged!

It's been a week since they got sabotaged in public. Detailed pictures will be up on my multiply soon...

2009-02-03T13:39:00.006+08:00

Suffer First, Enjoy Later

Direct translation of susah dulu, senang kemudian.

After a week of not being in the office and totally refused to come down even for only 2 hours when requested cause I was enjoying my off days, I am suffering now for I have a looooot of work to do! A lot!

Therefore, I am experiencing the the opposite of my title.

It's like DeJaVu. Like those DP days! But then again, nothing can beat the workload in DP!

Ok back to work now and on a different note, I am so happy that both birthday bashes that I had planned went well. Of course with the help of others! Duh!

Till future updates - when I am done with my pileS of work that is!

2009-01-28T20:41:00.001+08:00

9 Days Of Not Working

If only Aid is not working any days in this week, high chances we would be at some resorts. Krabi perhaps? I wish! Sigh!

He got me Friends Season 8 maybe to keep me occupied. Well it did but for only 1 night. Heh!

Spent 2 hours cleaning up the room but I only managed to clear 1/4 of the room. Not because my room is huge but just that I have too many junks and latest discovery - one of the drawers was filled with dust! Brown dust! Yucks!

I had to throw away that 2 super-dusty containers and as hard as it was (still is!), I had to throw certain accessories! Sigh!

It's just hard to let go of my own belongings!!!! Sigh! Sigh! Sigh!

I am left with no choice cause just look at my bags section. It's really overflowing!

2009-01-25T23:33:00.001+08:00

My Thank You Speech

Like real! But hey, I do wanna thank a few people for making last Christmas a memorable day for me.

So here it goes:

The biggest thank you shall go to HIM. ALHAMDULILLAH everything went smoothly throughout the ceremony.

To my immediate family members:

Mum for agreeing to black. Mum hates black a lot! She feels that black is a colour for funerals or any other sad occasions. Definitely not a colour she would use for an engagement theme so to have her agree to using black was a big relief.

Mum was the one who cooked for the 150 guests (or more) that day. She did it all by herself. She is indeed an amazing woman.

She also created one of the dowries - pulut and she did it according to the theme too. :)

My sisters, for paying anything and everything that I wanted to purchase each time we went shopping prior to the ceremony. They even surprised me by wearing the same long dress in the colour that I requested them to wear that day.

My brother...well, I guess thanks for just being there and the pink lilies and some other fresh flowers.

My in-laws. They were the ones that ran errands out of the house, vacuumed the house, drove me around on their off days, collected the cake and so on. I dare to say that I am amonsgt the luckiest to be able to get along with my in laws just like siblings related by blood.

Finally for the family, my beloved rugrats. They were dressed according to the colours that I wanted them to be in - boy in green, girls in brown. They were helping out too especially the older ones.

To my friends:

Mas, for creating one of the dowries in the right colours. Honestly, I was sceptical about the whole thing initially and I think she too was having doubts knowing how fussy I can be. Hehehehe! It was nicely done and she did it in just 1 day.

Mirah, thanks for coming babe.

Fidz (and Shah), for that big bouquet of lilies. I loved the scent it gave! Also, thanks for dropping by straight from the airport and left without eating. Again, I'll emphasize - it was your lost! Bluek!

Radiah and Mummy came the earliest even before I was ready as they had something on in the evening.

Irin, for reaching my place early cause I wanted her to. She stays in Yew Tee and travelled all the way to Pasir Ris by train! That's a big deal to me. Thanks babe! She was also one of the paparazzi that kept snapping my pictures from every angles. Ahahahahaha!To my most irritating Hamlau who was there when I was getting ready and got excited with the fact that he was the first guy to see me all made up - apart from the cameraman that is.

Radia and Elis, thanks for the heels. It was perfect for the occasion and I just realised that it was almost 5 inches! No wonder I look so gigantic!

Elis rushed to my place right after her graduation. She came in with a super bright pink dress and changed to the proper attire. Mano came too.

Aizah who came and left without eating too as she had to rush home to celebrate her birthday with her family. TB came despite everything that had happened. Widie who came all the way from Woodlands who also left without eating cause she also needed to rush off to somewhere.

Nani who came with her family and my french nails were sponsored by her.

To Kakak and Fazlie, thanks for coming right after work and stayed for quite a bit. Oh ya and thanks for the not needed lectures too ya! *roll eyes*

Lastly for my friends, to Sarina and Ah Boon for rushing all the way from Johor and to Sarina, please do not turn up in jeans for my wedding ok!

To my extended relatives.

My cousin, Kakak especially who was very excited and got even more excited when I told her to wear red since that's her favourite colour. I somehow think it runs in the family - even I love red too.

She was the one who accompanied my mum to look for the dulang berkaki. She also helped to spread the news to the rest to wear red! Hehehe!

To Kak Ngah, thanks for the cake though I didn't get to taste it at all! Hmmph!

Ateh and family, Kak Itan and family - they all wore red. Even Kak Cik Bon.

Zainab for helping with the bunga rampai. Akar for running here and there. Ziyad for just being there and checking out my girl friends. Just too bad Yousef had to be away. :(

Thanks to all relatives from both paternal and maternal sides. Thanks for just being there.

To Aid's family, thanks for already welcoming me and looked really excited and all smiley (especially his mum). I can't wait to be part of your family. INSYALLAH!

To Naz and Keera - thanks for making look pretty that day and to Matthew, thanks for taking the wonderful shots.

Lastly to Aid, it's been a month baby and I can't wait to start a family with you!

2009-01-22T13:30:00.003+08:00

Good Thursday

I didn't go to work yesterday. I took urgent leave cause I was having a bad cramp. It's been awhile since I had such unbearable menstrual cramp.

Didn't even bother to go to the clinic cause it's of no use and getting out of bed would have been hard.

So hard that I didn't even bother to shower the whole of yesterday! :~D

I had difficulties getting up today as well. I was so tempted to call in sick - again but I just had to force myself up since the office will be closed for a week next week so I don't wanna come back to work with a pile of 'unfinished business'.

So i dragged myself to work and left the house passed 8am. Took the 840am train and was still not in the best of moods when I reached the office. The back was aching like hell. Still does but a lot better and you'll find out why later.

It was closed to 11am and Beelien, our accountant came to me with my pay cheque and guess what?! We got our bonuses. Of course I got a pro-rated one but who cares. It's extra cash nevertheless and it's something I wasn't expecting for.

Suddenly the cramp and back aches disappeared after seeing those digits! Hehehehe!

What a good Thursday!

2009-01-18T15:14:00.017+08:00

Let's Take A Look Back A Little

Both Aid and I didn't want it to be a 'big' ceremony. As a matter of fact we didn't even want a ceremony. We just wanted it to be as simple as it could be and by that we meant just a few family members and by 'a few' we meant 20 people the most!

(Note: Given the fact that both of us come from a big family, 20 is considered as a 'small group')

We discussed about getting engaged sometime in June or July. It was during a supper right after a play at Esplanade. We thought by being engaged it will give both mothers certain assurance about our relationship and I believe it really gave them that sense of assurance that they had been seeking.

We decided to do it on Christmas because every 25 December is special to us. 25 December 2003 was the first time I saw him. He had seen me probably a week before that and 'enquired' about me through a mutual friend and it so happened that the said friend was someone I've known for years. However, if you were to ask him, he will definitely insist that I had noticed him on the same night and I had even given him the signs! Oh well, I let him be. It boosts his ego perhaps. Hahaha!

So anyway, his side came to ask for my hand sometime in November and Fidz was by my side when that happened. We both got excited and nervous at the same time. It was very 'Maria Mariana moment'. Thanks babe for just being there.

It was then concluded that we would exchange 5 dowries- each representing a year. Everything went well. ALHAMDULILLAH!

My siblings were all there and after his side left, they started to come up with individual's ideas of what the engagement ceremony will be like but hang on, didn't I make it clear that I just wanted a simple affair? By that I mean, no need to go through the hassle of making a new Baju Kurung, getting a Mak Andam or even decorating the room! I guess it all fell on deaf ears.

To my ~~dismay~~ they were already planning for the whole real deal. I had to go through the whole Engagement Ceremony! After much, much persuasion, I obliged. Given the thought that I'm the youngest in the family and looking at how excited everyone was, I felt that I should just cut them some slack.

Up to the very day, I didn't feel anything to the extent that my mum and nephew said I looked as if I was going through a match made process. Heh!

I did question myself though as to why I was close to being emotionless. It's not as if I wasn't excited to the fact that I was a step closer to become Aid's wife. I don't know maybe I was more stress than excited. Stress maybe because I just started work and was worried about financial issues but then again 90% of the whole ceremony was paid for. So I am still wondering why till now.

Anyway, here are some of the photos before the event took place:

the whole gang was there

in total there were 2 'drivers' = 2 cars!

So tell me how can I not cut them some slack when I saw how enthusiastic they were.

Just so you know, on that one Saturday, we went from Arab Street to Joo Chiat to Ikea.

I was indeed very overwhelmed. :)

2009-01-13T23:25:00.010+08:00

Delayed

Okay! Pictures are not up yet due to my lack of patience and my ignorance towards the wonders of computer softwares.

Mak Nenek definitely knows what I'm talking about here. Hehehe!

So people, wait up for the pictures - I will try to load them a.s.a.p.

Anyway, I had dinner with Mas today and it was indeed a guilty pleasure. We spent almost 2 hours in Bali Thai and I'm still damn full at this minute.

I am not supposed to indulge on food already but i guess DIET never really existed in my dictionary. Heh!

Aiyoh! How to lose weight like that??

Oh by the way Masto, thanks for the wristlet - I like it. Can fit my camera you know and you know how important is that right?! *wink*

2009-01-08T13:01:00.005+08:00

A New Year With A New Title

A week has passed in 2009. Time really wait for no one. It's been 2 weeks since I'm carrying the new title - fiance. No big deal you say? I agree but the idea of being the fiance of the Hot-And-Cold man after 5 years of crying and laughing, I beg to differ. It is a big deal. A damn big deal indeed and like Fidz said it - I'm 80% closer to the LIFETIME COMMITMENT.

To be honest, I'm already beginning to have the jitters and doubts. Not doubting the relationship but doubting my capabilities. Will I be able to be a good wife? Will I be able to wake up when he is in the morning shifts? Will I be able to open the door when he's knocking at 2am after the afternoon shifts? Will I this and will I that? The list goes on...

As heavy as it sounds, I can't wait to do all that for him and to hold that other stronger title - wife.

Back to the new year now. I'm gonna make a point to count down out of the house from next year onwards. I was supposed to meet Nani but I fell asleep 15 minutes after the countdown on TV. I woke up at about 4am and saw many text messages from people I was supposed to meet. Blame it on the full day work on that very day! When I was out for lunch, everyone was rushing home already! Grr!

I didn't intend to party for the countdown but I did want to chill with my friends. That sleep caused me to have nothing-special-kind of feeling on the first day of the year.

Worst, I had to work the following day!

2009 - so many things I need to plan: January babies, 30th Birthday Bash, my anniversary with Fidz and so many more. No complaints though cause I love such things!

My resolution? I would like to be a better person - in every way. Let bygones be bygones and no grudges and no retaliations. It's gonna be hard but I will try my best unless the person goes waaaay beyond the line.

Speaking of a better person, that also includes being a better employee so I think I should end this entry here. Blogging from the office is so not convenient. Typing in a small window is so not comfortable if you get what I mean.

I've gotten my engagement photographs from Matthew, the cameraman. I should be able to post them by this weekend since the Internet at home is already back to normal.

I've got so many things to share so till my next entry. Oh! By the way it's still not too late to wish right?

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!

2008-12-26T16:04:00.001+08:00

5 Years Later

5 years ago, after clubbing on a Christmas eve I saw Aid for the first time. That was the first time I became his pillion, we had supper (and he picked out the beansprouts meticulously) and spent the night together - in a group that is. That was also the first time I found out that he talks in his sleep! Oops!

5 years later, on the same day (just different timing) we got engaged! :)

Excuse my fat hands. I'll fill you guys in more in my next entry..

2008-12-22T08:41:00.004+08:00

A Perfect Monday

My idea of a perfect Monday is when the boyfriend sends you to work and you're the first to reach the office.

I got just that! :)

*3 days to Christmas!

2008-12-14T11:41:00.010+08:00

Gasping For Time

After counting down my birthday with the SNBs and spending almost half of the next day with them, I went home to take a nap.

The plan was to show my face at the chalet for awhile and off to dinner with Aid. However, of all times I got my period on that very day. Obviously it ruined our plan. We still went to the chalet and the moment we got to Dempsey, I wanted to go home. Aid obliged...reluctantly. I was home at around 11pm.

The chalet was held in conjunction of one of the rugrats' birthday and mine so Aid and I were at the chalet on both Saturday and Sunday.

Monday, I celebrated my birthday with the ex-classmates. They brought me to Sakura for dinner and to Swensens for ice-cream and cake. Of course I got a present from them too. *smiling widely*

Tuesday, I went out with Aid to get a few things done and I ended up with a big hole in my pocket despite it being my first pay day (after so long) but it's alright since I haven't bought him anything for the longest time and it was something he really likes. Had dinner and went back home.

Wednesday, dinner with PK. He gave me a treat at Secret Garden. He made me walk in my heels and I was babbling at him the whole time and the whole time, he simply ignored me. Grr!

Besides it being a birthday treat, it was also a nice catching up session. Someone is ending his bachelorhood soon! I hope everything will go well with this nice guy.

Thursday, I had dinner with my ex-school mates. This time, it was primary school mates. Primary school!! The last time we all met or even bumped into each other (except for me and Rabiah) was perhaps 10 years ago. Primary school people! Not all of us are still in contact with primary school mates so having that little reunion was something to be proud of.

The cool thing is that we still have chemistry. There wasn't any awkward pauses. In fact, we spoke non-stop and ended our meeting at almost midnight.

Friday, it was the celebration of Elis' & Radia's 25th birthday combined. There were a few last minute changes but we (Aizah, Irin and I) are proud to say that we did a good job. Both bithday girls enjoyed themselves despite the looooong walk! Hahahahaha!

They do look happy don't they? You should have seen their faces before we entered the club. The all looked like a walking zombie - masuk club terus menjadi! Chet!

Saturday, it was a good friend's wedding. An ex-classmate from Bishan (hey, it was a week of all the ex-school mates!). Aid was working so he sent me to Sembawang and went to work. In other words, I attended the wedding alone! Alone!!

That was the first time I went to a wedding alone and I didn't see any familiar faces there except for her family members but they were busy to give me their full attention. So I just sat there, right in front of the dais before Hafidz came 2 hours later. We made our way home at about 8pm.

To both newly-weds, I wish forever bliss and may you both have twins, triplets or even quadruplets soon! Hahahahaha!

Sunday, was at home and finally managed to rest. The following day was Hari Raya Haji. I just had too much Kambing to eat and just couldn't stop.

So people, when I say I'm busy, I really am busy. No exaggeration at all!

2008-12-08T12:56:00.004+08:00

My Last Day Of Being 26

I was working. Since I just started working there, I couldn't possibly take 2 days leave. Taking leave on the actual birth day itself was 'bad' enough.

I knocked off as soon as I could, bought a skirt, rushed home and got out of the house as fast as I could. By the time I got to town it was almost 11pm. Radia was out of sight. How irritating was that! She had been calling me non-stop asking me to be there a.s.a.p and she was not there. Worst when she refused to entertain my calls. Grr!

So I sat alone at Lido and a few minutes later, Elis and Irin appeared. Seeing them instead of that irritating woman already made me guessed that they were up to something. We crossed over and that was where I was blindfolded AGAIN! On a Thursday night, in front of CK Tangs.

They made me walk in circles and when I took off my blindfold, I was in a room. I had no idea which hotel I was at till Radia blurted out that we were above Barnone. Hehehe!

I've always wanted to stay in Marriot. Fidz and I planned to stay there for our birthdays this year but I guess we have to go for Plan B.

Back to the celebration, we chit-chatted till 2am and decided to go down for awhile.

We were there for only an hour and decided to continue our chilling session. However, Radia and I fell asleep while Elis and Irin were having their breakfast. Aizah had to go home for a valid reason.

We checked out at 3pm the following day.

They had asked me what kind of celebration I want for this year, what they did for me was exactly what I wanted.

Thanks girls. I love you all and will never let anyone pull me away from all of you. That's a promise...:)

2008-12-05T14:39:00.001+08:00

Birthday Celebrations

I'm not done with my birthday celebrations yet. I know it's been a week but sorry Suriani, I'm still in my birthday mood. I still have a few presents that I have yet to receive! Ahahaa! *not shy*

Tonight, we're celebrating not one but two 25-year-olds birthday. I hope everything will go smoothly. There are some last minute changes due to an 'unforeseen circumstances' so we got to go with Plan B. Problem is, Plan B was never implemented. Heh!

Girls, I really hope you guys will be happy or at least pretend to be happy with whatever we have in mind ok.

2008-11-25T15:34:00.003+08:00

Counting Down

It's 3 days to my birthday, 2 days to Pasha's ~~(since his wife is asking for a divorce, can we celebrate together :P)~~, 1 day to my sister's arrival and exactly a month to Christmas!

This Christmas will be my fifth year of knowing Aid. That's half a decade!

Of course we are going to celebrate it and it will be celebrated in a different way altogether. I can't wait! So can't wait!

*smiling widely & waiting anxiously*