♥ Saturday, May 30, 2009
At Least More Than 5 Years Ago
They say 'friends are forever' but they never said, they'll be there forever. Through the years, I've learnt change is a permanent thing. That's something I'm still trying to absorb though. 'People come, people go' is really a sad truth!
We change our believes, our thoughts and even our tastes. In short, we change. Be it for the better or worse, that is a different story altogether.
Most times, I do wish that I have the power to stop time even if it's just for awhile because I appreciate what I have and wish nothing will change situations but that's definitely just a wishful thinking on my part. Sometimes change is necessary.
The people pictured above played a big part in my life once. Though some have drifted away and seem to be more of acquaintances than friends now, I'm still glad that we crossed paths. I really do! No regrets whatsoever. They were there for me and I still smile whenever I reminisce those moments we had.
I'm also glad for the fact that I have more that stayed than those that went and moved on with their lives. Don't get me wrong, we're still friends only that we are not as closed as before. People change remember?
However, no matter how much someone has changed. Some things still remain. For instance, I'm still loving my mineral water and I still love taking 'improper' pictures of myself! Of course, I've changed to digital camera too! *wink*
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 11:58 PM
♥ Thursday, May 28, 2009
74TH
I wish I'm at your door lighting the candles in discreet,
waking you up softly and whisper to you 'I can't sleep'
You'll shift your body with half-opened eyes,
and I'll tell you to open the door wide.
As always you'll do as I say,
only to realise it's your special day!
I wish I am singing to you right now,
instead of writing this with tears rolling down...
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 12:00 AM
♥ Wednesday, May 27, 2009
When The Lazy Bum Is Not Motivated!
I've skipped gym for 2 weeks! I was supposed to go yesterday but I skipped it. I skipped today's session as well and if I skip tomorrow and Friday's session, that means I'll be skipping for 3 weeks!!!
I hate it when I'm being lazy and I hate it when I'm not motivated! Ziyad came over last Saturday and gave the girls a talk on health issues (of course he lectured me too!) for more than 2 hours. I was damn motivated then and even scheduled a session with him.
The next day, I met Aid and told him that I was feeling fat and bloated and that my butt is still 41" even after losing weight, he said I was being silly and he doesn't like women with small butt! *roll eyes*
The hot weather and the idea of travelling from my place to Raffles Place were the other 2 'unmotivational' factors!
How? How? How? I've been eating rice more frequent that usual ever since I became jobless again and I can feel everything growing bigger!
Maybe I should weigh myself and the digits would probably motivate me........not! I'm too confident of myself to feel fat and ugly! Darn!
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 4:48 PM
♥ Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Cried
I miss my dad very much. How I wish he's around right now fussing over my wedding preparations like the rest of the family members.
I'm very sure that he'd be as excited as my mum!
If only..if only...I'll keep on wishing...
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 12:01 PM
♥ Thursday, May 21, 2009
The 8th American Idol
I could not sleep till 5am this morning but still forced myself to get up before 8am. Just to watch American Idol's Finale.
I think this year's season is the best. Best competitors with great artists performing. Fergie looked damn hot! B.E.P rocked as always.
Jason Mraz looked weird with the goatee I feel. Steve Martin played that instrument like a pro. Kara was good too and of course damn hot as always. In short, I enjoyed watching it just now and can't wait to watch the repeat later.
Funny that I kept saying I wanted Adam to win but just now I realised that if he were to do a concert here, I don't think I'd be keen to attend it. Maybe, I won't even bother to attend altogether. Hence, I concluded that I've been a fan of Kris' all along.
Can you imagine if Kris and Jason Mraz decide to have a collaboration with each other? That would be superb, definitely.
Now that I already know the winner, I am anticipating him coming here for a showcase. I'll definitely be amongst the first ones to book my tickets!
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 7:34 PM
♥ Wednesday, May 20, 2009
My 2 Cravings
I got 2 of the things that I had been craving for last night.
One, was Aid. Yes! I was craving for him and we finally met after 3 weeks. It's funny after all these years, I still have butterflies in me whenever I meet him. That's a good sign right?
He seemed like a bad boy yesterday - it reminded me of our courtship period somehow. I love bad boys. Hence, I love him.
The other craving was, Gong-Gong. I got a plate of that all to myself. It was damn nice!
I got to stop yearning for the things I don't get. It's time to be thankful for the things I get in life instead. That shall me by mission from now...
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 8:37 PM
♥ Monday, May 18, 2009
We Eat, We Laugh, We Fart, We Talk - We Shared!
It's been awhile since I looked forward to the after hours of a Friday. I used to look forward to Fridays when Aid and I used to spend time till the next morning but everything changed ever since he went to Perth and subsequently started working. And they say change is good...I beg to differ.
Last Friday was indeed a great quality time spent with 2 of my favourite girls. We were together till 8am the next morning.
Thanks lovelies, for the wonderful company - it was so much fun which ended in a 'scary' situation. Hahaha!
Sunday, I accompanied the petite teacher, Yani for an extreme make over. A makeover for her head. She had a hair cut and I was so tempted to cut mine too.
I'm not going through the best of times right now but they managed to put a smile to my weekend. This is the obvious reason why I will always try to be there for my friends because they have been there for me whenever I need them...
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 11:20 PM
♥ Wednesday, May 13, 2009
GoodBye Idiots!
Since the day I tendered till Monday, I could not sleep. I had only 2-3 hours of sleep. I was so worried that they would give me a hard time before letting me go. You just got to expect the worst when it comes to that company.
First, my letter was passed around then they pretended as if nothing happened. When I asked for much earlier release, there were no news till Monday, after lunch. Mr Gentle (that idiotic that sent the 'threatening email) came to my bay and gave me a list of things that I needed to handover and told me if I could do so by the end of the day, I could leave. I was like, 'Hello, I definitely can't handover everything in half a day!'. I think he did it on purpose!
So I left office slightly later on Monday just so my last day could be Tuesday and I did it! I managed to handover everything and yesterday was indeed my last day! Yey!
It's such a relief and I managed to sleep well yesterday!
6 months in that company and there's nothing I'm gonna miss! Hah!
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 2:17 PM
♥ Sunday, May 10, 2009
An Entry For My Mother
My mum gave birth to me when she was 42. That was 12 years after the last time she had given birth to her 5th child. I am indeed an 'accidental' child or 'anak korek perut' as what she would say to relatives. In a joking manner of course.
According to her, when she had check ups, the gynaecologist convinced her that she was carrying a down syndrome baby and persuaded her to go for an abortion and told her that it would not be easy for her to take care of special kids at her age. As hard as he tried, he failed as Mak told him that whatever the baby's condition gonna be at birth, he/she would still be her child and promised to love the baby unconditionally and equally like the rest that she had given birth to.
November 1981, she gave birth to a girl and named her Rasheeqah after an Indian doctor if I am not wrong. She wasn't surprised that I turned out to be a healthy and normal baby cause she had always had faith in GOD and was prepared to face however I would turn out to be.
I was obviously pampered and was loved wholeheartedly by every single one of the family members. I don't really remember my toddler years. Even if I do, it's just bits and pieces here and there. What I do remember is that during my kindergarten days, more often than not, I was always mistakened to be Mak's granddaughter for the obvious age gap and of course at that point of time, I didn't get it and often got angry and wondered what was wrong with those people. I got more curious when Mak played along with those strangers at times when she just didn't feel like going through the Q&A sessions probably.
During my primary school days, out of (unnecessary) embarrassments, I would tell my schoolmates that Mak was my aunt just to avoid questions like 'how come your mum so old' or anything similar to that. I blame it on peer pressure!
Then there was a time when Mak was in my school bus and due to a miscommunication, I told her that she had to get down and walked up to the hill on her 2 feet. Up to this day, I still feel bad about that incident:(
As I grew older, I was able to accept the fact that my mother is much older than everyone else's and when asked, I proudly said that my mum got me when she was 42. It is a big deal cause I'm normal with no complications at all and after my late dad left us, she put me through school on her own. Of course the siblings helped financially for the household but she was the sole breadwinner for me..
After 39 years of marriage, Abah left her with a 17 year-old daughter at hand and that daughter was not really an obedient one. She was at the stage where she was figuring herself out so it was definitely a big challenge and responsibility for Mak but nothing was too big for her as she is one hell of a strong woman. You will never see her give up and she doesn't even complain. I hope to be like her in future.
When I was 18, I broke up with that so-called first love. She was there for me physically and emotionally and we both hated that guy together. She said to me the disappointment she had on that person was double as what I felt as she had given that person trust and respect but it all went to waste. Through the years, she was very supportive with whoever I befriended and even when she was not so in favour towards some, she would still be nice to that person for my sake.
Then I met another guy and our relationship lasted for almost 2 years. A break up with that guy is (he is still a nightmare!) my greatest nightmare in my whole life! He behaved like a psychopath, manipulated so many people. He almost succeeded in doing the same to Mak. He told her that I was going out with a few foreigners and I was a loose woman. Of course she was affected upon hearing all those things at first but after I explained, she was on my side. Trust me, it was not easy for her because the things that psycho told her was too much! Way too much! I almost reported him for harassment but didn't because Mak told me not too.
It didn't help that the rumour came when I was in my 'wild' days when I started to frequent the clubs a lot. I would get home in the wee hours all the time and ignored her when she asked where did I go. I ignored her pleas without any sympathy. I ignored her calls without any explanations. I could see the disappointment in her eyes but I didn't give a hoot and continued my wild ways. Never once, she told me to get out of her sight. She had never given up on me (till now) no matter how much I upset her.
For that reason, I promised myself that no matter how open-minded or liberal or wild I am, I will never forget my roots as a Muslim and that I will never ever do drugs. Alhamdulillah, till now, I have not tried a single kind of drugs. Call me a coward but I don't want to risk of getting caught after just a try and tarnish my family's name!
I also promised myself that no matter how broke I am, I will always give her cash monthly and try my best to help her financially and when I'm married, I will tell my husband the same thing - never ever stop giving money to his mum cause when we were young, our parents never failed to support us financially whenever we needed cash be it for a need or a want.
Despite having heard bad things about Aid (from the psychopathic ex-boyfriend), Mak was (and still is) very supportive of us. When we broke up, she tried ways and means to convince me that he's the one for me. When I told her that his side was coming over to ask for my hand, she planned what to cook for them on the very same day which was months before the actual day!
Amazingly, she did all the cooking herself on our engagement day and was still smiling throughout the ceremony. I think she was the happiest person that day. She is also the most excited person anticipating our wedding.
Seriously, if anything untoward happens, I do not know how to break the news to her cause I know, it will be a great blow to her. She's been cooping herself in her room doing some things (which she wants to keep in discreet) for the wedding and she's really thankful to have future-in-laws who are good natured.
The initial plan to celebrate today was together with Aid and his mum but since the engaged couple are still on cold war, the plan was aborted automatically. It's a good thing though as all her children (except for the one in Melbourne) were dining here just now.
Since dinner at Tambuah Mas was cancelled, I bought her gifts to make up for it which I was sure she would love it and she does love it!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO MY MAK who still feeds me when I asked her to, prepares my breakfast, packed lunch every single day which this ungrateful daughter never bothered to thank but instead she complains when lunch is nothing special. Seriously, if I am Mak, I would have stopped packing lunch for me long time ago!
Again, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY AND I LOVE YOU! Thank you, for making me, me.
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 11:59 PM
♥ Thursday, May 7, 2009
The Bad News And The Good News
This morning, a lady by the name of Amy called to say that she's really keen in employing me. She asked if I could start work next week. She got bummed up when I told her that I need at least a month and a half of notice. That's the bad news!
The good news is that the management releasing me earlier as requested. Instead of 3 months notice, I only need to serve 3 weeks. At the moment, my last day is on the 20th of this month. That's definitely good news! However, I asked for an even earlier release. They can only revert back to me by tomorrow morning after an admin meeting. Such a big hoo-haa!
This is a big risk but I feel that it's the right move. I've already turned down 2 offers (the other one being ERA) and I can't afford to turn down another offer. It feels so wasted!
I'm quite confident that they will release me next Friday and tomorrow, I'll be calling Amy. Hope everything goes well from there. If it doesn't, I'll keep on trying...:)
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 11:00 PM
♥ Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Today's Horoscope
'A disruption to your career progress has its positive side. You can use the lull to take care of recent problems and fix them for the better. This will be very advantageous to you so get started at clearing up these issues.'
I hope the disruption won't be that long because most issues that need to be fixed will be involving lots of money!
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 11:15 PM
♥ Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Can't Wait To Leave
I'm on my 3-days work week again. I'm 'sick' today. Another morning of feeling lazy so I went back to sleep after work. This feeling is crazy - I really can't wait to leave this work place. Like I said, I'm having the feeling of what I had during my last month in DP.
Anyway, my resignation letter has been passed around. It's now with the in-charge of Admin. I'm just so afraid of it being misplaced. He didn't say anything to me yesterday. Was expecting a call to the boss' room but it didn't happen. We'll see how it goes tomorrow.
I should stop here cause I seriously need to start doing something to my room. I've thrown a lot of things but it's still cluttered.
P.S I seriously need a break from Singapore. Too many things on my mind. It's crazy and I can't focus and even be calm!
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 12:49 PM
♥ Monday, May 4, 2009
What Happens If I Take Too Much Sleep?
Everything should be done in moderation, as what we normally hear. Too much of something may be detrimental just as much as lack of something may also be dangerous. The same goes with sleeping. Studies show that, on the average, the optimal and ideal number of hours an adult should take is about seven to eight hours of quality sleep. However, there are times when we tend to keep ourselves under the comforts of our bed sheets even after the alarm has gone off, and even after eight hours of sleep. What really happens when we take too much sleep?
Taking too much sleep damages your circadian rhythm. The circadian rhythm is controlled by a part of the brain (that is in the central area or region) that functions as your 24 hour ‘clock'. This clock, somehow commands the body when we are sleepy by changing the temperature of our body. We feel sleepy when the temperature of our body is lowered. On the other hand, when the body temperature is raised, we feel awake and alert.
In addition, the longer your sleep (that is again, over and above the amount you require for daily functioning), the more the quality of your sleep deteriorates. Individuals who, time and again, sleep ten to twelve hours a night (or even more) actually find it harder to get sleep. Furthermore, they wake more frequently and worse, they feel less rested when they wake up in the morning. It is unfortunate though because this feeling starts a series where you feel more tired and you think more sleep is needed to solve the problem and adjust to the situation. This is actually what they call sleep inertia - grogginess, fatigue, and the inability to "wake up" due to excessive sleep.
When we talk of too much sleep, we do not only consider here the sleep we take in the night time. Oversleeping may occur also during naps. Have you ever taken a nap and awoken more tired than when you fell asleep? For many, if taking a nap takes more than 15 minutes, their body thinks it is night time. Their body may then lapse into a deeper sleep, and it will be harder for them to wake up. This is what we call sleep inertia. Longer naps affect your circadian rhythm and it will definitely make it harder for you to sleep when you should sleep or wake when you should wake.
Experts say that if a person spends too long a time in bed, then they'll spend a higher percentage of time being awake. Furthermore, there could be medical reasons and causes for a person to engage in too much sleep. Alternatively, experts suggest that there may be a link between long sleeping and depression, noting that people who are depressed often temporarily feel better after skipping a night of sleep. Nevertheless, it is suggested that you seek medical attention whenever you feel any of the symptoms mentioned here.
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 4:41 PM
♥ Saturday, May 2, 2009
His FUCKING Sleeping Habit!!
If you're a stranger and have been following every entry of mine, I'm sure sometimes you must have had judged me as being the domineering one in my relationship with Aid. I don't blame you cause I air most of my dirty laundries openly and I hardly bitch about him.
When I was seeing another guy, though I didn't blog about him openly, I'm sure some of you would have guessed it. I'm sure I gave some of you a topic to gossip about when I posted an album of my first experience at the air show.
Aid is an amazing guy. He may not be the most good looking guy on earth but he has what I want in a guy. Having said that, he also has a particular bad habit which I detest so fucking much! He loves to sleep and when he sleeps, he sleeps like a dead pig! Be it his night shift, morning shift or even on his off days! He sleeps too much!
I'm fine if it doesn't affect me but seriously, it does! BIG TIME! For more than 5 fucking years, I've been tolerating him sleeping on me. He stood me up on dates! He stood me up after making me wait! He stood me up in so many other occasions!
Let's not get into details of the past incidentS. Let me rant about a recent incident. As recent as today! I've got a wedding invite today which I really was looking forward to go to. I have not seen the bride for more than 10 years. It's bad enough that he did not revert to me about his attendance despite telling him that I needed to RSVP. Due to that, I just said 'yes' on his behalf. He had the cheek to ask what time did I want to go the wedding today. When I told him, it's between 1-5pm, he asked confidently what time did I want him to wake up. Honestly, I didn't feel like replying that text but I did anyways and my reply was '1pm'.
It was 1pm and there wasn't any calls from him. I showered half an hour later and started calling him up at 2pm. Time now is 10pm, and i still have not heard from him. He's not dead definitely cause he's at home sleeping and no one dares to knock down the door when the pig is sleeping!
THIS IS THE MAIN REASON WHY WE BROKE UP SO MANY TIMES AND I ENDED UP BEING CLOSE TO SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE I SIMPLY COULD NOT STAND HIS IGNORANCE! HIS NEGLIGENCE AND TAKING THIS RELATIONSHIP FOR GRANTED IS GETTING WAY TOO MUCH!!!!!!
Funny enough, sleep suddenly disappeared from his life and he became so spontaneous (again) when he was losing me!!!
THIS IS DEFINITELY TAKING ITS TOIL! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! I SERIOUSLY DO NOT KNOW HOW THIS IS GONNA BE OK AGAIN!
IF YOU THINK I AM BEING PETTY, TRY BEING STOOD UP FOR 5 FUCKING YEARS AND TELL ME IF I AM RIGHT IN FEELING THIS WAY!!!
If you think, that I should not be bitching about my (so-called) fiance like this, fuck it!!! I just gotta let it out my chest. If I were to tell my gfs, they are too immune to hearing this and all they will do is to just laugh it off or say 'be patient' bla bla bla! It's no longer a laughing matter. In fact, it HAS NEVER BEEN FUNNY and I've been patient enough haven't I?
p.s Excuse the grammar/vocabulary error if any. I just can't be bothered to proof read this entry. It will only produce more angst!
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 9:22 PM
♥ Friday, May 1, 2009
Labour Day
I just found out that today's holiday is world wide. Heh!
How I wish I'm at a resort right now - having a full body massage by the sea with manicured nails while snacking on Banana pancakes with different toppings. Wishful thinking cause I'm stuck in a cluttered house on this long weekend and I'll be stuck till GOD knows when!
How do I celebrate my (Labour) day this year? I celebrated it a day earlier by submitting my resignation letter to the HR.
Crazy! Risky! I've heard it all but I just got to do what I (still) feel is right. Most think I should not tender since I need the cash for the wedding but I believe in fate - if it's meant to be, it'll be. All of my ex-colleagues are not getting their April's pay cheque indefinitely.
That's bad isn't it? You still have to pay for transportations and daily meals and not get paid at the end of the month. Let's not start with the rentals and other bills.
My point is, even if you have a job, that doesn't assure you that you will be paid at the end of the month due to the current crisis. I'm getting married with the sincerest intentions. I believe ALLAH will help me to go through that. I have strong faith on that. INSYALLAH!
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 8:44 PM
