♥ Sunday, May 10, 2009
An Entry For My Mother
My mum gave birth to me when she was 42. That was 12 years after the last time she had given birth to her 5th child. I am indeed an 'accidental' child or 'anak korek perut' as what she would say to relatives. In a joking manner of course.
According to her, when she had check ups, the gynaecologist convinced her that she was carrying a down syndrome baby and persuaded her to go for an abortion and told her that it would not be easy for her to take care of special kids at her age. As hard as he tried, he failed as Mak told him that whatever the baby's condition gonna be at birth, he/she would still be her child and promised to love the baby unconditionally and equally like the rest that she had given birth to.
November 1981, she gave birth to a girl and named her Rasheeqah after an Indian doctor if I am not wrong. She wasn't surprised that I turned out to be a healthy and normal baby cause she had always had faith in GOD and was prepared to face however I would turn out to be.
I was obviously pampered and was loved wholeheartedly by every single one of the family members. I don't really remember my toddler years. Even if I do, it's just bits and pieces here and there. What I do remember is that during my kindergarten days, more often than not, I was always mistakened to be Mak's granddaughter for the obvious age gap and of course at that point of time, I didn't get it and often got angry and wondered what was wrong with those people. I got more curious when Mak played along with those strangers at times when she just didn't feel like going through the Q&A sessions probably.
During my primary school days, out of (unnecessary) embarrassments, I would tell my schoolmates that Mak was my aunt just to avoid questions like 'how come your mum so old' or anything similar to that. I blame it on peer pressure!
Then there was a time when Mak was in my school bus and due to a miscommunication, I told her that she had to get down and walked up to the hill on her 2 feet. Up to this day, I still feel bad about that incident:(
As I grew older, I was able to accept the fact that my mother is much older than everyone else's and when asked, I proudly said that my mum got me when she was 42. It is a big deal cause I'm normal with no complications at all and after my late dad left us, she put me through school on her own. Of course the siblings helped financially for the household but she was the sole breadwinner for me..
After 39 years of marriage, Abah left her with a 17 year-old daughter at hand and that daughter was not really an obedient one. She was at the stage where she was figuring herself out so it was definitely a big challenge and responsibility for Mak but nothing was too big for her as she is one hell of a strong woman. You will never see her give up and she doesn't even complain. I hope to be like her in future.
When I was 18, I broke up with that so-called first love. She was there for me physically and emotionally and we both hated that guy together. She said to me the disappointment she had on that person was double as what I felt as she had given that person trust and respect but it all went to waste. Through the years, she was very supportive with whoever I befriended and even when she was not so in favour towards some, she would still be nice to that person for my sake.
Then I met another guy and our relationship lasted for almost 2 years. A break up with that guy is (he is still a nightmare!) my greatest nightmare in my whole life! He behaved like a psychopath, manipulated so many people. He almost succeeded in doing the same to Mak. He told her that I was going out with a few foreigners and I was a loose woman. Of course she was affected upon hearing all those things at first but after I explained, she was on my side. Trust me, it was not easy for her because the things that psycho told her was too much! Way too much! I almost reported him for harassment but didn't because Mak told me not too.
It didn't help that the rumour came when I was in my 'wild' days when I started to frequent the clubs a lot. I would get home in the wee hours all the time and ignored her when she asked where did I go. I ignored her pleas without any sympathy. I ignored her calls without any explanations. I could see the disappointment in her eyes but I didn't give a hoot and continued my wild ways. Never once, she told me to get out of her sight. She had never given up on me (till now) no matter how much I upset her.
For that reason, I promised myself that no matter how open-minded or liberal or wild I am, I will never forget my roots as a Muslim and that I will never ever do drugs. Alhamdulillah, till now, I have not tried a single kind of drugs. Call me a coward but I don't want to risk of getting caught after just a try and tarnish my family's name!
I also promised myself that no matter how broke I am, I will always give her cash monthly and try my best to help her financially and when I'm married, I will tell my husband the same thing - never ever stop giving money to his mum cause when we were young, our parents never failed to support us financially whenever we needed cash be it for a need or a want.
Despite having heard bad things about Aid (from the psychopathic ex-boyfriend), Mak was (and still is) very supportive of us. When we broke up, she tried ways and means to convince me that he's the one for me. When I told her that his side was coming over to ask for my hand, she planned what to cook for them on the very same day which was months before the actual day!
Amazingly, she did all the cooking herself on our engagement day and was still smiling throughout the ceremony. I think she was the happiest person that day. She is also the most excited person anticipating our wedding.
Seriously, if anything untoward happens, I do not know how to break the news to her cause I know, it will be a great blow to her. She's been cooping herself in her room doing some things (which she wants to keep in discreet) for the wedding and she's really thankful to have future-in-laws who are good natured.
The initial plan to celebrate today was together with Aid and his mum but since the engaged couple are still on cold war, the plan was aborted automatically. It's a good thing though as all her children (except for the one in Melbourne) were dining here just now.
Since dinner at Tambuah Mas was cancelled, I bought her gifts to make up for it which I was sure she would love it and she does love it!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO MY MAK who still feeds me when I asked her to, prepares my breakfast, packed lunch every single day which this ungrateful daughter never bothered to thank but instead she complains when lunch is nothing special. Seriously, if I am Mak, I would have stopped packing lunch for me long time ago!
Again, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY AND I LOVE YOU! Thank you, for making me, me.
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 11:59 PM
