♥ Friday, February 22, 2008
Screwed Up!
Funny that I'm always screaming for attention when I don't do that when it's really necessary. Someone just raised his voice at me and I was left dumb-founded cause I've never seen that side of him! I was stunned, shocked, a little scared, upset etc etc. I had bad mixed feelings. I guess I really screwed up and I deserved that. :(
I'm sorry Sir! Really am sorry for what happened! I didn't realise I was being selfish! I was listening - it's just that I hated the direction of that conversation. I hate it when you think everything is against you. Hate the fact that you stop having faith in that particular thing which I have so much faith in. That thing which I wish we could be doing together cause I know we'll be happy despite those posibble arguments we joked about earlier. You know we both want it and the fact that people around us are supportive makes me happy. Having said that, I've stopped hoping. I'm just living for the moment and I'm mentally prepared for your next 'relapse'. Sigh!
Whatever it is, I'm glad being in this so-called mess again and I know it's all temporary. I know I'll be hurt again but heck it's all worth it cause you're worth it. Like it or not Sir, I am addicted to you. You said' I'm like an alcohol - it makes you happy but it's not good for you. I say, you're the honey and I'm the bee or probably a bug sometimes (bluek!) so you got to accept that fact! Honey is apparently good for our healths so .....
Again I'm sorry and hope you will get up from the right side of the bed tomorrow and be back to normal mode. Otherwise, I'll just see you on Sunday! I'm really looking forward to that cause it's gonna be my first time and you made it sound so interesting!
I'll be wearing my most revealing party dress ok! *wink*
If I don't see you on Sunday, I'll see you 20 years from now on the road and if I don't see you on the road I'll see you in my house probably preparing for my child's birthday party together with me...
That would be nice wouldn't it? *smiles*
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 12:58 AM
♥ Sunday, February 17, 2008
P.S I Love You
We (the 2 older rugrats and I) decided to watch the above movie on Friday. It was a really sad movie.
However, to those that have read the book before watching it claim the book to be better. I don't read so the movie was good for me. Heh!
As you can see, the male rugrat was seated in between me and Alyaa which also meant he was stucked in between 2 sobbing human beings throughout the show! Yes! We cried almost every 10 minutes at that! Alyaa cried till her eyes were so swollen and so red! The person next to me was crying non-stop. In fact most of us that came out of the cinema after the show had red eyes with tissues in our hands.
When I said 'us', I meant the females. They guys looked normal. Just like Muhaimin he was 'so emotionless' as what Alyaa said. The only emotion I realised he did was took a deep breath during one of the sad scenes and that was it. He would then take glances at us to see if we were weeping and if we were, he would laugh at us. Men!
Is that what all men are capable of? Take a deep breath when they are upset and pretend they are not affected at all? Oh! I forgot that they have to do that cause they have an EGO to maintain.
P.S Isn't it proven that men have no feelings? I wish I could learn how to put away those emotions from them cause I really have lots of them! *roll eyes*
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 9:55 PM
♥ Thursday, February 14, 2008
L.O.V.E
What is love? Many people ask..
Some say it's a heartache
Some say it's a headache
Some say it's wonderful
Some say it's fate
Some would even say it's a game that two would like to play
Wonderful is what I would say, if you're with the right one Hurray!
Heartaches and headaches will always be in the way,
Believe in fate and it will decide who is your mate
To end in 'Happily Ever After' or 'The End' is not in our hands
Enjoy the moments and give your best, whilst putting your love through tests
If it succeeds, All The Best
If it fails, clear the mess
Don't give up till you pass the test
Cause as I've said, it's wonderful when
you've passed the test and end up with the best
*smiles*
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 11:40 PM
♥
Lovers' Day
It's passed midnight which means it's already Valentine's Day!!! For some weird reasons, I really can't wait to see all those lovebirds walking around tomorrow. The look of those faces of being extremely in love is just awesome - the guys would be holding onto their partners' tightly while the girls would be holding onto a bouquet of flowers proudly. That is such a beautiful sight don't you think?
My perfect idea of celebrating this day would be to celebrate it simply - nothing fancy. It would be nice to have flowers delivered to the office, someone to fetch me after work and off to the beach and just cuddle the night away with nice music and conversations throughout.
That would be a perfect Valentine celebration for me. Lesbian partner, are you up for that? Hehe!
Anyway, to all lovers out there I'd like to wish you Happy Lovers' Day and appreciate your partner while they are still around.
Muaks!
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 12:25 AM
♥ Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Girls' Talk
It's almost 5am and I'm facing the PC while listening to 'With You'. I've been yawning but I just can't sleep. Too many things on my mind definately!
I just hung up on Lina - sharing stories of our lifes, advicing each other of what we think is best fo the both of us and that babe has been giving me great advices. She seems to be able to relate everything. Her guesses seem to be spot on. She's that good that I told her to be a psychic if she ever were to be out of job. Heh!
Anyway, I won't be working again tomorrow - or rather later. I spent 3 freaking hours at the clinic just to get the freaking MC so since I had to wait that long, I deserve more than a day of sick leave right?
TB and Stalker (that's what I'm gonna address you from now on babe) were at the clinic with me. We headed to SImpang Bedok for supper and again, we shared stories with each other. Our expectations, needs and wants.
What we've concluded during those Girls' Talk sessions are Men Are Simply Stupid that's why they think we are hard to please creatures. They are stupid because we have to constantly tell them what to do and what not to do and what they are good at are coming up with the lamest excuses after screwing up!
Don't you agree ladies?
Apert from love, all we need is attention, stabililty, assurance, a little bit of sacrifications and mutual understandings. And...we don't mnd meeting halfway.
It can't be that hard to provide us with our needs right since that's what you guys seek too...
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 4:55 AM
♥ Monday, February 11, 2008
I Was On An Emotional Roller Coaster!
Just when I thought everything was getting better, I realised I was wrong! So damn fucking wrong! In fact, it's getting from bad to worst or even impossible - that's what you think right Sir?
I was on an emotional roller coaster ride without realising it! I was all cheery and went back to teary on the same day!
The word 'circumstances' - I so hate it now!
And guess what?! I'm still not getting it! I still don't get it why people are so willing to sacrifice their own happiness just to save their EGO and PRIDE!
Wake up dearie, people will always talk about us. No matter how perfect you are, you can never please everyone. That's REALITY!
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 6:48 PM
♥ Friday, February 8, 2008
Where Do I Go?
I woke up this morning to find myself stuck in the middle.
In the middle of a path which has 2 rooms - one on the right and the other on the left.
The one on the right is the one I've been in and out and been so comfortable with. I love the people in it, I get the attention from everyone except the owner itself. For that I think that's why I still feel something is missing in that room despite it being fully equipped. I do wonder sometimes if I am expecting too much or is the owner just too sure that I'll be hanging out there no matter what. Sometimes, I do feel that the owner just want to stop wanting me to visit.
Then there's the room on the left which I visited by chance and miracously felt very comfortable in a really short period of time. The people in it are as amazing and I get the attention I've been yearning for in this room - from the owner that is. It's equipped with things of my needs and of course seemed greener. However, that's too early to judge as the grass is always greener and the oceans always seems bluer on the other side. As for the owner of this room, as much as he wants me to be hanging around, he shooed me away thinking I"m just dropping by for a mere distraction.
So where do I go?
To stay in the room where I've been in over the years or move on?
Part of me wants to stay put in the first room for all the experiences that I had gone through in there but I fear of having that certain unsatisfaction feeling if I decide to stay put. It'll be such a waste to leave only now cause for the main reason is that I still love being in there but sometimes I just don't feel wanted anymore.
Honestly, I'm not expecting for the other room to open its door if i were to leave this room. Nothing is being discussed let alone guranteed.
The other part of me just want to bypass the 2 rooms and keep on walking. Walk till I can't walk anymore. Walk till I find an owner who wants to own me and provide me with my needs. I'm almost done with adapting and explaining. I'm even done with complaining.
I just want to be happy with full satisfaction. No more yearning or whining.
So where do I go??? To the right, to the left or keep on walking?
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 1:36 PM
♥ Thursday, February 7, 2008
Decision Making
I so hate making decisions. I just hate the process of it - when I have to re-think and re-think, reminisce, contemplate, forsee and anticipate what's gonna happen etc etc etc.
I had been wanting to tender my resignation since late last year. I was quite hesitant because I thought since I'm so comfortable with my position I should just hang on a little longer and of course those wonderful colleagues of mine were one of the reasons why I am still in the company even after the management decides to change our roles every 3 months. Heh!
The main reason was because I could not stand the new office manager (who had just tendered by the way), but then I thought I should not resign because of her. A few months later, I was suddenly the COO's Personal Assistant at no notice at all. Yes! No notice! I was told at the same time as the rest of the Admin Team. How disrespectful is that! 2 weeks ago, we got our bonus and boy everyone was so disappointed. In fact, we still are!
Now that I have 3 reasons to quit, I have decided to tender by the end of this month. I have not gotten a new job though. I don't see a point in carrying on when I have to drag myself to work every single day.
Nothing's gonna change and voicing out won't change anything. They have their own perceptions and I have mine so there's really no point of staying and it's better to move on now than later. I've realised staying because of the duration and comfort are not valid reasons too cause I've stopped getting self satisfaction these days.
I don't know if this decision of mine is a smart move or not but I guess this is the best since the heart isn't there anymore and life is full of risks anyway. Worst come to worst, I'll just move on and keep trying!
Wish me luck!
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 8:41 PM
♥ Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Beyond Our Control?
Do we really have to let situation control everything - of our daily lifes' routine?
I really don't get it! Seriously am not getting it!
How can something feels so right is actually wrong? I believe in fate but I also believe in overcoming obstacles.
I seriously don't get it why some people simply give in to situations willingly? Aren't we all responsible for our own situations or circumstances that we're in??? I really don't get it!!!
Things happen for a reason
Blogged @ 1:37 AM
